Posted by Raul on September 9, 2010
After spending some time reviewing the stuff I’ve posted so far, it seems to me the categorization used it’s not reflecting the kind of posts in some of them and might lead to confusion, so I’ve decided to add three more categories and reassign some of the posts so far published.
Those categories are: Memories, Fiction and Projections
The first two are self explanatory and for the third one, well…one of the things I love to do is try to fit myself in somebody else’s shoes; not physically but in my mind, so to have a chance to see the world around through somebody else’s eyes and thus experience the feelings and thoughts of that person (It’s like going to the movies without spending money!)
So far I’ve published four posts under that concept in the category “Entertainment” but now it just doesn’t seem to fit the original intention, so after some brainstorming (while not seating in the toilet) I’ve decided to create this new category called “Projections” (most of the brainstorming was about choosing the name! Can you tell?)
Anyway, this new category, together with Fiction will allow you to know I’m not talking about myself but rather I am someone else at that moment, at the same time that it’ll allow me to try to understand my own thoughts and feelings (what a clever old chap I am, right?…RIGHT?…oh well!)
Now, if somebody reading the post happens to be in that situation I’ll be very happy to hear his/her opinion so to evaluate the accuracy of the Projection and improve my procedures. Thank you beforehand for your help and sharing your experience.
So to get started, here is an old one for Projections…hope you like it.
Raul
The End Once Again
Why it has to be that way? Why it always starts like if everything clicks to later find so many differences?
Some casual talking with brief locking eyes, little by little getting to know more about each other, feeling the heart beat faster every time a coincidence in preferences arise. Then creating excuses to meet more often, finding ways to be together: a coffee break, lunch, then maybe a movie and dinner in a quiet restaurant.
We found so many coincidences, so many things in common, we thought we found the right person and played our cards, we wanted to be together. After some encounters of great sex and laughing we thought we were made for each other. We made plans together.
But after just a couple of months sharing our lives we started to see the differences. At first little things like the kind of coffee, the way to keep stuff organized, the time of the day to tend the bed. Later bigger things like spending priorities, long term projects. To finally discover all the hidden things never told before; what was expected in bed and never received, what didn’t enjoy but accepted just to comply, so many little and big things that make us look at each other like complete strangers after a fight, after getting all the details, thoughts and feelings hidden that went out in a moment of a heated argument.
Then the decision, the departure, the tears and loneliness; back to the beginning, back to a solitary life, back to be afraid of another relationship, afraid of getting hurt again!
Memories, feelings, loneliness; is it just a cycle that repeat itself over an over again? How many times before finally finding the right one? How many times before knowing that the person at our side is the one we will grow old with? Is it just a matter of time? But how many times?
Back to a gray, flat routine kind of life. No more bright days, no more happy rain, no more laughter for stupid things, no more feeling the heart beating hard!
The end once again!
Posted by Raul on November 12, 2009
This post is a following of the previous one called Killing Robots, so I suggest you to read that one first to better understand this one.
It seems that everyday more and more relationships are becoming automated. Let me explain.
Our lives are becoming automated; in more and more activities we take there is automation: heating already made food with a microwave oven, driving vehicles with automatic transmissions and automatic climate controls, power windows, mirrors, steering, etc. Automated clocks that self adjust to the right time, automatic heating and cooling systems in our homes, automatic security cameras and self turning on lights in the driveways, automated bill payment systems, even automated programs to write this article in this computer and then publish it in this blog!
It is a good thing to automate many processes in order to free time to do more, and we are doing more than before thanks to this, but since our lives are immerse in this automation, also the way we take relationships are suffering the same.
In the previous post Killing Robots you can see a quick comparison between newer and older cars; the newer, computer controlled, were you don’t have to worry about the different systems and just drive, and the older, were you had to pull the “choke” to start the engine and listen to the sounds to push it back in at the right time to prevent “flooding”
With newer cars we don’t worry, it is there, we don’t have to put work on them to make sure things go right, we just use them when we need them and forget the rest of the time, and the same thing with cooking food, just grab a box from the refrigerator, open it and throw it in the microwave, then forget, the machine will sound an alarm to let us know when is ready for us. No need to remember to turn on the lights, they have sensors. Even the toilets in public restrooms have sensors so there’s no need to remember to flush it.
My question is: could it be that with getting so accustom to automation we are starting to see automation in human relationships? I fall in love, she falls in love, we get together; I expect she will be there for me when I need her and she expect I will be there for her when she needs me, there is no need to do anything else; it’s an automatic relationship.
With older cars we had to be aware of their needs, we had to keep in mind what we had to do, we had to follow procedures to take good care of them so they will last; the same with cooking food, no microwaves or frozen meals in a box so there was a procedure to follow in order to make things right, to get good results, and that took time and dedication. We had to be accustomed to put effort and dedication to everything everyday in order to have good results and lasting service from all of our devices.
Today, with all the automation in our lives we are accustomed to use and forget, never being aware if there are any needs from our devices, so why would we pay any extra attention in a human relationship, being that a love, friendship or family one?
Like with older cars we knew we had to put effort in order to have a long, reliable service, with relationships we knew we couldn’t just throw away everything without first trying to solve the problems, and just like we developed patience with our vehicles, we knew we had to develop patience in our relationships.
Today we just use things without worries and then, when something goes wrong we discard them and get a new one, the latest, with more features.
Are we having a tendency to do the same in human relationships? Expecting that everything in that relationship will go in automatic and when things start going wrong, instead of fixing the problems and developing patience we just discard and start searching for a newer one that will brings us more features?
Taking care of material stuff = Taking care of relationships
Expendable material stuff = Expendable relationships
Newer cars suppose to last longer than older cars because of all the devices incorporated, yet they are not around for too long due to broken parts, smoking engines, worn out components.
Sure older cars were made stronger and heavier which made them more reliable. Are we becoming like new cars? More efficient in more things we do thanks to technology but at the same time becoming weaker and less reliable?
Are we gaining more efficiency in what we do thanks to all the devices we can acquire and use today, but at the same time, like new cars, loosing our strength and reliability in tough conditions, not able to deal with complicated situations that require dedication and patience?
Maybe that’s one of the main reasons why more and more marriages today are lasting less and less years, some even just months, and the same with friendships; if is not efficient, if it doesn’t provide us with the service we expect we simply discard instead of repair.
And with older people, we used to take care of them in their latest years when now they end up in nursery homes. An old car has memories implied in the use we gave them, times when they were part of the family, now they are good as long as they provide us a service, after that we get rid of them.
Where is the division line between practicality and neglecting human relationships?
Just a thought…
Raul
