Posted by Raul on August 1, 2013
Being an aspie I know I cannot read faces, so I can’t tell what people is really saying. But I was shocked a couple of days ago when I learned that I can’t read no even my own face! It really confuses me and also worries me.
What happened is that I was at work and a cold that I had became really strong. I tried to keep working so not to loose vacation time because of leaving early, but after a couple of hours I was feeling so bad that I had no choice but to talk to the supervisor to go home.
My worries were that he might not believe me that I was really sick, so I was thinking of the way I should explain how I was feeling and the need to go to bed. I went to his office but he wasn’t there, so I looked around and saw him walking to his office. At about 60 feet distance from me he said: “You are too sick…you need to leave, right?”
I was shocked that from a distance he knew that I was sick! I didn’t even say a word. So when he reached me I told him I needed to leave; and so went home. The next day, when telling my wife about this, she said it was really easy to see I was sick because I had the face of a dead man!
Now, I did see my face several times in a mirror at work; since I had to blow my nose and the paper tissue is under a mirror; every time I went to blow my nose I saw my face, and it always looked the same to me. Back at home my face was like always (according to me), but my wife insisted that I looked like a dead man. When returning to work, in a conversation with the supervisor, he told me I looked really bad that day.
So it seems not only I cannot read other people’s faces, but also I cannot read my own!
Now, what worries me is that if my face was telling other people I was sick, but I couldn’t see it, that means my face is sending some signals that I’m not aware of. Could happen then that sometimes my face is talking while I’m not? And if so, what is it saying?
The reason I mention this is because many times at work I’m feeling fine with the people around me, but sometimes in those situation they still seem to retreat after a while. Until now I always thought it was because I don’t talk and people need to talk, so I’m boring to be with. But now I’m thinking that maybe my face is sending aggressive messages that I’m not aware of, and that’s why they just walk away.
Somehow it is funny when you think of it. Today I’m 51 years old (the picture above I took it on August 1, 2013 (today)) and still I cannot decipher the messages people’s faces send; and now I discover that I cannot even understand my own!
Posted by Raul on April 4, 2011
So tired, so sleepy! She couldn’t keep up for the long term ahead and instead simply felt asleep over the tasks that had to be completed. Tomorrow will be another day, she said to herself; tomorrow everything will look different and from a new perspective, when better rested.
The scent of the words printed below involved her, while she enjoyed her dreams of peaceful rest and final abandonment. Surrounded by the knowledge, the ideas and the projections that could be extracted from the scent, she rested completely unaware of the changes already happening inside her head.
All she read, all she imagined, all she thought, everything was already inside her head, moving, forming new shapes out of the original created at the time of insertion. Every new knowledge that found home in her brain was morphing into a new concept, at the time it found connection with whatever knowledge, thought or idea was to be found already there.
She rested, she dreamed, then she grew up a little more. Good night little one! Have a pleasant rest and a wonderful awakening! You’ll be a little bit different tomorrow!
Posted by Raul on March 11, 2011
Checking the hard drive of my computer to see what posts I’ve been working on, and to complete some of them for future publishing, I’ve come to realize there are so many waiting to see the daylight. After a quick count, I noticed there are more than one hundred!
There are six folders: Entertainment (2); Fiction (29); Memories (0); Projections (1); Thoughts (62); and Uncategorized (8). -The six categories I have in this blog. The biggest numbers are in Fiction and Thoughts, while the smallest (0) is in the Memories folder, which is of no surprise, considering my terrible memory
Every time an idea comes to mind I write whatever comes out and place the “project” in the appropriate folder, ready to be completed when there’s more time available. Unfortunately, the original idea seems to vanish completely when I try to retake the post to complete it.
Perhaps the worst part is that ideas come to mind in the most “inappropriate” circumstances, like when driving in my delivery shift, when in the shower, etc. In some instances it is of no problem to just grab a piece of paper and write down the name of the post, the general idea, and some quick notes to help the future writing. But when the time comes to actually take the task of completing the posts (a couple of days later), my mind either becomes blank, or I can’t see the reason or logic of the original idea, making worthless the whole point.
I’ve tried (when possible) not to stop writing when the idea comes around, and simply postpone whatever I was doing at the time, but usually there’ll be some research involved, and the time required to complete the whole process force me to still leave the post for future complexion.
The result is more than one hundred posts waiting and nothing ready to publish.
-Does it happen to you?
-What procedure do you use to write those ideas that cannot be completed at once?
-How do you organize your writings in your computer?
Let me know in the comment section.
Posted by Raul on July 30, 2010
After making a comment in Lori’s Blog post “front porch: Dreams, Laughter and Comic Inspiration” about Tony’s Blog “Trottersville” Lori asked why I sleep so little, so here is the answer:
Some time ago I posted a thought called “Don’t Sleep Before You Die!” where I was talking about saving time by sleeping 6 hours instead of 8 as recommended by the experts. That was my ideal!
Today, and for the past 8 years, I had been sleeping an average of 3 hours a day, 1 at night and 2 in the morning.
What happens is that I have a delivery job at night (I wrote a short fiction tale about that in “Reunion”) so sleep one hour before going to work and two after, so not to waste too much time in the morning just sleeping.
Then work by day either fixing cars, doing several things around the house, spending time writing, blogging, reading posts in other blogs, commenting, trying to learn this computer thing and the writing craft (I want to learn to write well so more people would be interested in reading this blog, not just “Mom and the Poker Club” :) ), spending time with my son and wife and so on, so not much time left really.
Sometimes I oversleep and have 2 hours instead of one before going to work and had to rush so not to be too late in order to “preserve the schedule” and not getting behind during the day.
It works fine except for a couple of things: Memory, Vision and Energy, that’s all!
Memory has become crappy, I still cannot find the control panel of my brain so to uncheck the box that say “Automatically delete thoughts when a new one appear”, although I do have problems with memory since I can remember (don’t laugh!) I believe I suffer from CRS (Can’t Remember Shit)
Vision, once very sharp, is also becoming crappy. I still can read a street sign from a block distance but now I need glasses for reading (sigh), otherwise cannot distinguish the words.
Energy is also down; it reminds me of my childhood when being “high” with medicine and no energy to move due to sickness (“Why Alien Ghost”, “Loving Life”) so it takes a while to get energized after waking up in the morning and I’ve notice that, in those rare occasions when I have the time to sleep as much as 4 hours in a row, my focus and memory get better.
Another thing with short sleeping is that I don’t dream (not enough time) It’s been many years without dreams, which is sad because several years ago I read somewhere that we can put our dreams to work.
If we concentrate very hard in a thought when going to sleep and remain in that thought until we fall asleep, with practice and time, we dream related to our thought; it works! I tried that many years ago and after several attempts I was able to “advance” thinking done over a problem; I even dreamt a short tale that as soon as woke up wrote in one stand without stopping and needing no corrections! That was so cool!
So short sleeping is nice to save time and do more things, but too short sleeping is not a good thing (duh). Now it’s about organizing things in order to get organized (see people how it can affect you?!)
But seriously, soon I should be able to get some more sleep and hope to recover some of the memory, maybe vision and definitely energy!
Life is good and the future can always be brighter!
NOTE: The picture is not me but that’s how I look like when just waking up
Posted by Raul on July 15, 2010
What would happen to blogging if we all became telepaths?
-No correcting the writing before publishing?
-No pictures to re-size?
-No folders to keep things organized?
-No visits to make and visitors to receive?
-No subscriber lists, everyone is kept in mind?
-No typing, computers or internet?
-No internet down! (That’s good)
-How about plug-ins?
So just sit down and send the post by brain waves
And how do we receive the posts?
-A sort of signal received that a new post is about to be released?
-Then we sit down and concentrate in the brain waves being transmitted?
-How do we go back to “read” again the post?
-Do we just keep everything in our memory?
-The blogger also keeps everything in memory?
-What about those with bad memory? (Like me)
For sure many things would change, some for good, some for bad.
-A good thing would be no more sloooow computers to fight with (like the crappy one I got)
-One of the bad things is that just the thought of telepathy gets me confused! Jeez!!