Posted by Nacho on December 16, 2010
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Today I have the pleasure to have a guest poster at Alien Ghost! Nacho Jordi, from Zerebria, has a very interesting topic for all of us to enjoy and think about.
If you haven’t visited Nacho’s blog, please take the time to stop by and dig in his archives. His posts are always intelligent, funny, and with lots of very useful information, so you can have an eye opening experience, and mind blowing time.
Now, without further ado, I leave the stage for Nacho.
Fascination as a Container
I saw them the other day while I was having a short walk. They were sat on a bench, and he was talking about i-phone models, I think. As for her, she dazzled me: her eyes, her body language, something in the seriousness of her silence… all of her as a whole was the living image of receptivity. She was fascinated, receiving all of that as one who receives the rain.
I am a very enthusiastically kind of person, and I remember having received that kind of attention in several of my former girlfriends, now and then, generally in situations when I was rambling about books or music. And I hope that memory does not play tricks on me, but I think that, even while those moments were taking place, in spite of the ‘natural high’ that love always induces on you, I clearly perceived that the fascination I was granted with had very little to do with the particular contents I was producing. Instead of books, I could have been an obsessive stamp collector or a vegetarian die-hard fan for the case. What my girls liked, just like what that girl seemed to like in her i-phonic friend, was the spark of illusion, the beauty of fascination, the fact that something in this world of us can cause such a state in a human being.
So there was a clear distinction between the object that created fascination, and the fascination itself. The first element, in all the cases I’ve seen, seemed to have a secondary role. I have a theory for that.
I just cannot know, of course, but I’ve always had a feeling that men are more oriented to the ‘what’ of things, while women’s great specialty is the ‘how’. The easiest example at hand is their typical entertainments in popular culture for each of them:
Men – Sports
-”They won by (what?) 8 points yesterday’s match”
-”Among (what?) the five first teams in the league”
-”His average speed is (what?) 20% faster than its competitors”
(Additionally, the ‘how’ is very feeble: Question: how does the coach feels about winning the match? Answer: OBVIOUSLY, he feels very happy, because they have worked a lot and it puts them in a good situation to face the finals, etc. Which is a very primitive, secondary, and previsible, set of feelings).
Women – Gossip press
-”He later declared that he was (how?) very sorry for his remarks”
-”10 of the (how?) best/worst dressed celebrities”
(Additionally, the ‘what’ is usually quite insignificant (to the desperation of men!): the ‘celebrities’ who elaborate their disappointment, who tell everything about their wedding or the birth of their child, etc, are very often, if you think it, a not-so-famous singer, an actress who has not done something worthwhile in three decades or so, the former fiancée of a former tennis player, who something of the kind).
Of course, I don’t claim to be an expert on the issue of genders. As my theory is mostly a hunch, I’m sure you can allege a ton of counter-examples if you want to. To make things even harder, biologically, gender is not binary; we cannot simply create the ‘how’ and ‘what’ tribes because, hormonally, we all human beings have a male and a female part; there are no pure categories in nature, but a continuum. As soon as you abandon Sesame Street-like simplifications, the issue of gender can take you very far… far beyond, indeed, than what is intended in the dimensions of a blog post! But precisely because it is an issue with such a richness and complexity, I think it is necessary that we abandon clichés about it as soon as possible and start to explore and discuss it with more naturality. So this is my humble contribution to the matter, with my acknowledgement to Raul for allowing me to publish in his terrific blog.
What do you think?
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Nacho Jordi is a polymath mostly (but not exclusively) focused on writing, music, psychology, spirituality beyond cliché and personal productivity. He works as a translator in Madrid (Spain). He is the author of the Zerebria blog, where he offers tips and hints for personal development and conscious living, besides all kind of contemporary musings.
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Posted by Raul on October 25, 2010
What I Believe a Love Relationship Should Be
-What we could expect from a love relationship.
(What each one should do to accomplish the goal)
—–
-Friendship: Someone with whom we can talk honestly, share our dreams and fears and find mutual, honest support. Someone with whom we can trust each other as the only one in the world that will never fail to help and be there for the other.
(Learning to give ourselves with honest interest and dedication; to become the “place to rest and recharge” for our loved one without any doubt of being safe, understood and supported; without criticism in the back, but honest talk with a genuine good intention instead)
-Commitment: Someone with whom we can build something together; sharing the loads and the benefits of any enterprise we together decided to pursue.
(Learning to play our cards for the other, and take any necessary risks involved without doubts and recriminations)
-Sexuality: Someone with whom we can share sex, sweet touch and the physical pleasures of the human body, without societal restrictions when we are the two of us alone.
(Learning that there’s a difference between public and private behavior and self expression, so being alone we don’t bring with us commonly accepted customs, but give ourselves openly and with care for the other’s needs and desires)
-Pride: Someone with whom we can feel proud of being with in front of others in any situation that arises.
(Learning to continually improve ourselves physically, mentally, knowledge, manners, etc, so to become a reason of pride to be with)
—–
My guess is that most people would agree with these points; but how many of us are working continually in our part, mentioned in parenthesis?
To give love and to receive love there’s only one needed, but to keep love alive and growing, as for the existence of a relationship, there’s the need of two, and that implies the search is not only to find from who we can receive, but also to find to whom we can give and dedicate ourselves too.
It seems to me it is “established” that finding love is about to find from whom we will receive, but disregarded the part where we give, which implies working hard and continually self pushing to be the one for the other….too common to say “This is the way I am” instead of thinking “What else could I do?”
Continually working to be the kind of person our loved one need implies dedication and many times adaptation and even transformation.
As long as love remains considered a “commodity” that we acquire to have the same way we have a fancy car: to have fun with; to look good with; to know it’s there for us when we need it, but forgotten when we are in “our stuff”, we will never create a relationship that works both ways; and just like one day the car simply won’t start or die on us while on the road, our love relationship will be gone.
These are my conclusion from a “robotic” way of thinking 
Raul
Posted by Raul on October 18, 2010
Perhaps one of the most criticized creatures of modern society. The segregated rebels; the elements of the movement that’s mostly about anti-movement. The silent heroes that quietly sacrifice themselves everyday in their quest for sustaining a materialistic society that, at the same time that claims minimalism, requires consumption of goods as a way of sustaining itself and its trading characteristics.
Before you start criticizing your resident couch potato…have you thought of all the goodness they bring to this modern society?
For instance; what would happen to the potato chip industry if only fitness conscious people existed? What would happen to the soda pop and beer industry? Even the remote control batteries need to exist for them!
Every year bigger TV screens and better sound systems are developed for what seems to be the satisfaction of couch potatoes, yet, if it wasn’t for them, there’ll be no need of such marvels of technology in a society that claims the best way to spend time is running, jogging, or simply practicing some form of sport.
What about the TV industry that have to supply endless programs and shows to be aired 24/7? What would happen to those aspiring actors and actresses that dream of the red carpet, and find an opportunity to show their “talents” in some obscure reality show?
To the couch potatoes we owe the existence and remain of such dedicated industries, and with it, the possibility of so many jobs for people to have.
(Violins playing in crescendo)
Products are created and distributed, jobs become available and money circulates around, sustaining the system by which this modern society survives.
It is not just the creation of products like potato chips, pizza, soda pop and beer, but also the distribution of those goods, even to the extent of home delivery.
No tax reduction or government incentive has succeeded in reactivating the economy. When the intention is to motivate consumers to consume, so the industry can remain, only couch potatoes have quietly, and without any government incentive, persevered in their quest for industry movement.
To them we owe a still alive economy that remains in a seemingly inexorable fall and that, maybe otherwise would not even exist today.
(A fifty people chorus singing in crescendo)
To those unsung heroes that quietly go away and disappear after death, with no tombstone reminding us of their sacrifice with a simple phrase like “Here are the remains of a dedicated couch potato; who persevered throughout his life in his quest for an active and financially fit industry, even to his own doom”
“Have you hugged a Couch Potato today?”
Couch potatoes are true human beings. They smile, cheer or criticize some characters on TV; laugh out loud and get emotional to tears with the tribulations experienced by some others in the screen.
Couch Potatoes experience the full range of emotions reserved only to those who dare to be openly human, without restrictions imposed by self improvement books that suggest the restrain of one side of the emotional spectrum, such as sadness, anger, confusion, desperation, etc, in favor of the other extreme of such spectrum as happiness, laughter and satisfaction.
They know how to freely scream and express their emotions in an unrestricted way when the player missed the opportunity to score. They can really express their happiness and satisfaction when seeing the funny side of a TV program, and even a TV commercial.
Couch potatoes can, and do experience the full range of emotions reserved only for a complete human being!
With tears in my eyes I dedicate this post to those that, in a non selfish way, without expecting recognition and applause, standing the criticism and segregation of the others, the fittest ones, still persevere in their quest of saving the economy of modern society, so we can not only live, but have a decent place to be in.
Couch Potatoes of the world…I salute you!
Raul
Posted by Raul on September 16, 2010
Long ago there were exotic lands waiting to be discovered, conquered and exploited, but no more. We already know the whole geography of the planet and there are no new places to be charted and see for the first time, unless we go into space, which is difficult at this time.
But not so difficult to explore new territories in this modern world.
With the creation of the internet a new, parallel world has also been created. A parallel universe that can be traveled, explored and exploited.
Just like when word came about strange, far away lands, with exotic animals and opportunities to become wealthy and famous, the internet offers today the possibility for all of us the adventure of discovery and riches.
In past times people boarded wooden ships and started a journey of months to reach the promised land, some for the wealth, some for the fame, some for the freedom, today people board their private “Stargate” at home and travel to this new universe.
There were also those who were sent to the new lands as a sentence and had to adapt and create a new life in the new place, just like today some people have no option but to try to make the complex and unknown world of the internet work for them as the only alternative left when the economy in the physical world is crushing them.
Some of the original travelers died in the attempt while in the trip or in the new lands at the hands of natives or viruses and wild animals. Today travelers can die (figuratively) with a virus in their traveling ship (computer) or being attacked by nasty hackers, or simply get lost and confused by the many turns of this new world called internet.
Yet, there’s still the promise and motivation of riches and fame for many, so they make the trip with hopes and resolution in their minds, willing to sacrifice time and effort in order to reach their goals.
Some of them come back for a while but they are not the same anymore; they learned the local language and now they speak a mix of the new and their original, just like we see in physical life the creation of Spanglish, we see in these digital travelers the spoken language of “Netglish”, making difficult to understand what they are saying.
Some of these people have learnt to live in this new world and found they fit better than in the original, physical one. They can make friends, find support, exchange ideas and pursue a future in this promised digital land that couldn’t do in the physical counterpart, so they become “naturals” there and leave their physical bodies and basic activities behind just as a life support system.
Now we can find characters like “Total Destroyer” that dominates the game’s arena, give advice in forums, provides information in blogs and in general is respected and feared in the digital world, country of games, city of fighters and building of winners.
He dominates in this new world in his area and enjoy the respect and popularity that comes with it; yet when he travels back to the physical world we found Josh, a fifty years old, short, slightly overweight 5 feet man, moustache, living in a one bedroom apartment, driving an old battered Toyota to his job as a librarian at the local, small, waiting to be close, local library.
We can also find “Mystique Soul” teaching how to find our inner self, live a meaningful life and control our emotions for a more productive and happier life. She is considered the wise and prophetic teacher that help us survive the struggles of physical life in this physical world, and who also fill our senses with the beautiful pictures of nature and strange, epic places drawn by unknown artists.
Then she comes back to physical life to her job as a secretary in an insurance agency office, where she treats customers with the utmost respect and a beautiful smile.
Perhaps one of the craziest things is that now we have many people looking at this new world as the best way to live their dreams of being someone among the crowd; something that couldn’t be achieved in physical life. They become the naturals there and immigrants to this new world.
Then we have the Merchants of the new digital world:
Some of them sell information on how to live in this new place, some selling digital real estate in the form of hosting, some sell the exotic fabrics of Themes to dress up the houses of newcomers and give that personal touch everybody wants.
Don’t forget to implement your new home with the latest appliances and fixtures (plugins) to add functionality and a more comfortable living in your home
There are also those who trade in weapons to defend oneself from the dangers of the new land in the form of hackers, so always carry in your belt your login robot weapon and identity protection software when roaming the digital lands.
Also, don’t forget to get vaccinated with a proper antivirus to prevent those nasty viruses from attacking you.
There are also the endless stores of any city that sell different products for the digital and physical world as well.
Many of these merchants work in the new world to bring riches to the old, physical one.
Then we have the parks created for entertainment and relaxation like the many video sites that we can visit for a moment of free time and unwinding; but there’s always someone selling a treat there, or at least lots of publicity banners trying to capture the attention and business of unaware or not so strong people, just like in physical world.
Tourists are not forgotten in this new world; they can find all kind of “souvenirs” to purchase while visiting for some random information.
We also can see the police force and governmental organization created to control the behavior of locals and visitors alike in the form of possibly banning your login ID. They prevent you from entering some places and/or warn you about the merchandize you are about to see and possibly purchase in different places you can visit (warning pages). Also they can expel and revoke your stay permits if you behave in ways not allowed by the local governing body (banning your IP).
Then you are forced to use a fake ID (IP) by login in a site that allows you to surf from their premises.
We also find the black market of free downloads that established companies fight fiercely.
The old man in a wooden wagon, traveling from town to town telling stories to sell his miracle elixirs is now the site selling the ebook that will fix all your problems (how many of those do you have in your hard drive?)
Some people seems to be born to live and work in this new world by the natural abilities they have to interact and dominate, while others have to set for just sporadic visits to enjoy the place as a tourist and always come back to the old, physical world, where they seem to be more at ease.
Among the many that seem to adapt quickly we can find the youngsters that, given the fact they were born after the digital universe was created, they are growing and developing inhabiting both worlds at the same time, so their life and activities are adapted to this special conditions.
Their physical activities become reduced by the increased interaction with the digital world. For many adults that used to develop their activities in the physical world alone, the creation of the digital one has come as a simplification of many of the tasks that used to be part of their daily lives, yet they remember the old ways and, even though they wouldn’t like to go back to the old procedures, their minds still can process the possibility.
Yet for the youngest the stories of normal activities when only the physical world existed seem to be tales closer to fables or legends than past reality. Their eyes become bigger and their excitement grows when listening stories of children making toys out of cardboard and wood, and the enthusiastic stories of their parents about the fun of riding a bicycle, feeling the wind and overcoming purposely created obstacles like riding over a small rock without falling seems many times too much of a simple or stupid activity to participate in.
Physical movement slowly but surely is becoming an accessory in life rather than a natural part in the human body’s daily activities. The mind runs in the new digital parallel universe while the body remains in the physical world, just as an anachronism for the many that could happily migrate completely to the new digital universe.
Perhaps one of the tasks the younger generation will impose themselves in the near future would be to find the way to completely migrate to this new universe, so their lives would be closer to what can be seen in digitally created movies, which are closer to the reality younger generations live nowadays.
Then maybe some of the science fiction stories of the past could become the reality of the future, where digital thinking and feeling entities coexist with the physical ones, each one in their own world but both interconnected, and even deep friendships and love could develop among them, when they fail to find counterparts in their respective worlds.
This new world exists and is more than just a communication channel!
Now we have a complete new world that coexist parallel to the physical world and people of all walks of life traveling day and night between the two, in search of a personal, more meaningful life for them, without having to fight and win in a physical world that, sometimes for some, seems to have not enough room for everyone’s success.
Raul
Posted by Raul on September 6, 2010
Some people dream of becoming a balanced human being; some people dream of becoming wealthy and popular, some people dream of becoming powerful and respected; I dream of becoming a concrete wall!
I know…I tend to dream big.
What can I say, in my concepts if we don’t go for the big one then we are just wasting time, so naturally my dreams are for what I consider the best results of a well used life.
So many times I’ve seen people trying and struggling to reach the societal considered “success” of becoming wealthy and living the life of the rich and famous.
So many times I’ve seen people trying and struggling to reach inner peace, balance with nature and positiveness that promote the increasing movement of self growth we can see nowadays.
I just want to be a concrete wall!
I can see your faces of envy because you didn’t see the grandness of this project of mine before I did, so now, in case you decided to change lifetime projects, you will have to settle for becoming just a follower instead of the creator of the movement. Sorry!
And for the few of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, let me explain.
“Reaching a point where I can be a silent, quiet being, standing there living and enjoying my life without hurting anybody with my existence”
“Provide shelter from the sun and wind of life to those in need”
“Becoming a place to rest for those tired and in search of peace and calm”
“Being strong without the need or desire to show it and if someone attacks me, physically, emotionally or intellectually, they will only hurt themselves when clashing with the quiet strength of a concrete wall”
(If you throw a punch or scream to a concrete wall, you only hurt or make a fool of yourself, while the wall stands there quietly, without the need of doing anything)
Figuratively of course!
I know it’ll take time and effort to reach my desired goal, but I’ll keep going until I reach it or die…whichever comes first!
Raul
