Posted by Raul on June 6, 2011
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In any relationship that might be: marriage, parenthood, friendship, etc. the use of bad words or insults in reference to the person we are talking to as a way of joking is something I really dislike. I do understand and accept their use as part of the joke, and we know there are times when a thousand words cannot explain what one single bad word does.
But when those words are used to directly refer to the other person, it is my opinion that slowly but surely it helps deteriorate the relationship.
Say for instance, you make a silly joke to a loved one and the response to you, as a joke, is: “Jerk!”
It might be just a joke, just a word, nothing that has a real meaning or that comes from the heart of the person saying such word, yet (unconsciously) it does become already traveled road that opens the door for another road, and then another, then another, to the point that, without even knowing, the use of insults becomes the norm, putting the relationship interactions too close to the side of disrespect.
Everything we do repeatedly will become a custom and will loose its original intensity.
Having sex before marriage as another process of getting to know each other before deciding if marriage is for them, that I agree; while having sex as a normal element of any party, and just for the temporary pleasure it gives; that I disagree.
Discovering new technologies by their use as a way to learn, adapt to the new times while improving our efficiency, I agree; but getting the latest just to be with the crowd and don’t look like left behind, that I disagree.
In everything we do, if we do it very often, we will loose the magic involved in the process, and it’ll become just the base for something else to acquire in order to recover the lost magic of the first times.
For the same reason, if it becomes the norm to use insults to joke with a loved one, then pretty soon it’ll be necessary to use stronger words to retain the “fun” of it, to the point that someone external to the circle will become shocked by the way they joke with each other.
What has become a natural thing for some could be an extreme for the rest.
Joking with bad words brings resentment in the long run, and also creates a situation of disrespect, even if there was no intention of such thing from the part of those using the bad words.
That’s why I disagree with the use of insults as jokes when referring to a loved one. To keep a positive relationship in the long run, sometimes we have to “invest” in not going too far, as a way to always remain within the range of respect and love each other deserves.
My personal opinion of course.
What is your take on that? Do you accept the use of bad words as jokes with your loved ones?
Raul
Posted by Raul on June 2, 2011
The other day I received this joke in an email. I thought it was funny, but also makes you think of what’s happening in the US, and how people around the world see Americans. (The email was in Spanish).
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The David returns to Italy
After two years loaned to the US, the David of Michelangelo is returned to Italy
Its proud sponsors were:
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Crazy, Isn’t it?
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Posted by Raul on May 9, 2011
It was about ten o’clock in the morning when the doorbell ringed; I opened the door and found a technician from Comcast (my IP provider) who claimed to be here to activate the requested phone service (which I have with Qwest). Surprised as I was I told him that nobody requested such service, and I wasn’t expecting anyone from Comcast to show up. He checked in his (seemed to me) cell phone and confirmed the appointment, so I had no option but to insist that I didn’t want to switch my phone service to them and asked him to cancel such work order. He apologized for the inconvenience, worked in his cell phone and told me the order was cancelled; then he left.
That same day in the afternoon the doorbell ringed again, I opened the door and found another person from Comcast, this time introducing himself as a supervisor who was in the area checking for customer satisfaction. He asked for the installation of the new modem for the internet service and asked if everything was OK with the technician coming in the morning. I told him the technician didn’t mention anything about switching the modem, but instead he wanted to connect phone service; that I explained to the man it was a mistake and nobody had requested such service; and so that I dismissed the technician.
He apologized for the confusion and explained that the purpose of the technician wasn’t to connect phone service but to upgrade the modem for a better and even cheaper bill internet service. He explained that with the new modem customers have a smaller bill, and he didn’t want me to find out later that my neighbors are paying less than I for the same service with the company. He wrote down a new work order for the following day in the morning for a technician to show up and switch the internet modem. He told me then, if anything happened and it was not possible for a technician to show up in time, he will call me and let me know. I thanked him for his courtesy and, holding the white copy of the work order, I closed the door and smiled for the outstanding customer service the company has shown (silly me!).
Nobody showed up and nobody called to explain why!
That’s fine, there’s time to switch to a modern modem if the need arises, I thought.
The next day I tried to create a new email address to use exclusively with the scooter’s club I participate in, so went through the process in my Outlook Express and, copying all the steps from the actual address I have, created a new one for the specific purpose.
It didn’t work!
After several attempts I decided to call Comcast’s customer service and ask for help; after all they claim I can have up to seven email addresses within the contract.
My first call was for service in Spanish, so there’ll be no misunderstandings because of language (I am Chilean). The lady who answered was a big time talker, repeating several cliché phrases about my satisfaction, customer priority, etc, but didn’t know about the system more than I do, so there was no solution to the problem. By the end of the call she asked if there was something else she could help me with (she wasn’t any help with the first issue), so I mentioned about the modem switch work order that didn’t happened. She checked her computer and confirmed the work order for installing phone service, not switching modem! I asked (in my best calmed and controlled voice) that I wanted to cancel the phone connection since I didn’t request it. She said she couldn’t do that but she could connect me with the sales department; I accepted and she made the switch. The lady (speaking in English) didn’t hear me, so after several attempts I had to just hang up the phone.
With my state of mind a little in the high tone (which is known in my country as “boiling shit”) I called again to customer service, this time in English, to ask for help with setting the new email address. The man who answered could barely hear me and didn’t understand my talking (I must clarify; when I’m mad my English pronunciation is better than normal since I speak at a slower speed and trying to modulate better -That’s the way you know I’m mad). Again there was no solution; he went to the same process I did first and got to the same place I did: Nowhere. I mentioned if they might have a problem in their system and, after repeating and repeating everything I said, finally, out of rage, I told him “How do you want to sell me phone service if you cannot even hear me on the phone?” and hanged up.
To calm down I decided to surf the net for a moment and found out now I didn’t have internet service! With my fist pointing to the heavens I screamed “Damn you Comcast!” Well…not really, but I was mad at them.
At home there are three computers connected to the internet through the same contract with Comcast. Only one had internet!
With my almost non-existent knowledge and skills about computers, I checked everything I could to make the three computers have internet. I disconnected the router and plugged by turn each computer straight to the modem, to first discard the possibility of a faulty router. Every computer had internet this way, but only after doing a re-start. My conclusion was that Comcast can only recognize and accept one computer (I don’t know about computers and/or IP companies remember?).
Tired of getting nowhere I decided to drive to a Comcast office close by to ask for a technician to come by and check the whole system. I didn’t want to call again (I have a very sensitive shit!). My thoughts were that, if it was required to talk on the phone with customer service to change codes or something like that, a technician could do that from my place better than I.
I took a bill statement with me as proof of customer and all the numbers they might need to identify me as such. The lady took the statement and scanned it, so all the information about my account appeared in her computer screen. I explained I wanted to set an appointment for a technician to come by and check why I didn’t have internet. She said the computer showed I didn’t have a forty five dollars a month service that will allow me to receive a technician without cost, so the fee for a visit would be forty dollars…
”Do you want to add that service now?”
Also, there was a pending phone service connection.
I breathed deep…I took hold of all my experience in Yoga and relaxation techniques (which I have never practiced in my life) and told her that please cancel the phone connection and let’s go with the forty dollars for now; that I wasn’t sure to keep the service with them. She typed in the computer and told me that the order was cancelled, but she couldn’t schedule an appointment because the system was down!
“So what can we do now?”
“We have to wait until tomorrow for the system to come up again, and then we can schedule an appointment”
“So there’s nothing to do for now”
“Nope”
She could scan the statement and get all my information as customer in her computer, but couldn’t schedule an appointment!
I left the store not sure if it made any difference in person compared with on the phone.
Once at home I decided to try again and reprogram the router…just in case. After following the procedure, the step by step guidance told me it couldn’t find the router.
Aha! Maybe the entire problem is the router! -I said to myself.
So I rushed to the store and bought a new one. Once back at home I followed the procedure to install it and program it, and voila! All three computers have internet again. It was a faulty router after all.
With this I can see it wasn’t a Comcast problem, but I still have a bitter feeling about how they handle customer service and the tactics they use to sell more services.
When checking the snail mailbox yesterday I found a letter from Comcast telling that some unknown company is planning to buy Qwest, so how is that for customer service from Qwest? Why should I put up with Qwest not telling me that they might sell to some other company I don’t know about? Of course, the phone number and the URL from Comcast were there for me to immediately switch services to them!
One…two…three…four…five…
Why am I telling you all this?
I used to think that relying too much in electronics and computerized services is giving away our own power over our lives. What would happen if a virus enters the systems in one of these companies? If an earthquake destroys the link towers or systems they have? Customer service cannot solve problems when everything is fine, will they be able to be of any help if an extreme situation arises?
How would you pay with a credit or a bank card, even if the money is in your checking account? How will you recover all the information about people you know and do business with if the robots that remember information and passwords suddenly die? If there are no more internet and phone services?
How much of our lives are dependant on a technology that we are loosing control of?
I used to think that an external agent such an earthquake, a virus, even a terrorist attack could change everything. Now I believe we don’t need that; customer service and the voracious hunger of companies for getting more and more customers to charge every month, without caring for providing a good (or even decent) service will do the trick in the future.
When was the last time you heard of a company proudly claiming being “Third” in customer service in the country? When was the last time you received prompt and knowledgeable service from one of these companies?
They are loosing control of their own business because of paying more attention to acquire paying customers that retaining them with a good service.
Lies in publicity have become institutionalized and are the norm nowadays! It cannot be only number one companies, right? Somebody have to be second, or third.
Let me briefly summarize it:
-The collapse of the electronic and computerized systems.
-The institutionalized lies as a way of business.
-The interest in quick profits at any cost rather than continuity in business.
-The degradation of the competition as a form of publicity, rather than the self improvement as a company, as a way to gain and retain customers.
We are giving away to technology our own responsibility of our doings in our lives. We don’t need to remember…technology does for us. We don’t need to learn…we just Google it. The use of technology is even replacing our need to know how to read a map to get somewhere. Thanks to technology and our laziness we can stop the learning and skill acquiring processes, leaving ourselves in a very precarious position if something happen to our beloved technology.
Don’t get me wrong, I love technology and I wouldn’t go back in time. I don’t believe that the past was better than the present or the future, but I do believe technology should be used to “help” instead of “replace”. With technology we can do more and faster than was possible before, so we can use it to lead better, more productive lives, rather than using it to rest over it and stop our own growth.
Using technology as an aid we can create a better future, but if we use it for monetary gain or to slow down our own self growth, we might find ourselves in a very tight situation in the near future.
Am I becoming obsessed? Have you experience similar situations? Do you agree with some of these points? What is your take on this?
Raul
Posted by Nacho on April 7, 2011
Today, my good friend Ignacio Jordi is visiting this blog, bringing with him his very interesting thoughts that always makes us think and gives us an opportunity to know more about ourselves. If you haven’t visited Nacho at his blog Zerebria, please take some time and stop by to read his timeless and very educative posts.
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Casiotone nostalgia, or the way we learn
Hello everybody, and thank you once again Raul for letting me show up at your wonderful blog; I’m honored of being a guest here in Alien Ghost, for sure one of the friendliest aliens on this side of the galaxy! 
My article today is about learning. I hope you find it enjoyable.
Some of you may remember it; in my country it got to be sort of a symbol of the 80′s, one of those many objects from that decade which have become a dear memory. The Casiotone PT-1 was not longer than a laptop screen, its keys were so tiny that they were almost square, and it had a very recognizable rhythm that was sort of its anthem (too-kee-too-kee-too-kee-too-too-too-kee-too-kee-too-kee…)
That cute and comic electric keyboard was my first one, the instrument that introduced me, and many people in my generation, to the delights of playing music.
But the Casiotone PT-1 had one more feature, the one I want to focus on: it was monochannelled. In other words, it only allowed you to play one note at a time; no sound appeared when you pressed a second key unless you released the former first.
Now you might say it was a limitation rather than a feature, but try and see it through the eyes of a kid who is approaching for the first time the world of music, of making music. Fascinated, I practiced every catchy tune I could think of, in the mood of someone who disassembles a toy to see what’s inside.
Obviously, you need no more than one hand to play a single note, so I could help myself with the other hand when I had to play something that was fast or tricky, and the result was always gratifying. I used to practice over and over until the notes came perfect. The only variation factor I was allowed was the four different instrument sounds to play with.
I did not know it at the time, but it turned out to be a perfectly natural introduction to music. A succession of single notes, one at a time, is what in musical theory is called a melody. And melody is the skeleton of any musical education, the first thing that humans tried out when they intended to make pretty sounds.
So the limitation imposed by the instrument kindly forced me to train myself in the basics of music; all my attention was focused on the melody, and the quality of sound. There was nothing else to care for.
That way, when, later on, I moved to a new, more potent keyboard, which allowed simultaneous channels (I think they were four), I was ready for the new challenge ahead: simultaneity of notes. Harmony. My next step, then, was fleshing out the melodies I had learned; to my surprise, I discovered that any song allowed a lot of possible ‘dressings’, the choice was not limited to finding a single ‘right one’. My research took me to new stages, to more complex ‘toys’, as I started to try out different chords and series…
Learning is the process of practicing an ability under controlled circumstances. The first surfing lesson is taken on land. The skilled spokesman records himself at home, with no people round, to see how he looks and sounds. The child gets familiar with the bike using small supporting wheels before heading for the challenge of balance on only two…Sometimes I wonder if I would have learned music the way I did if my first keyboard had been one of those high-tech monsters around in our days. I’m no specialist, maybe there are still monochanelled beauties out there, but the mainstream seems to be dominated by keyboards with zillions of instruments and virtually no channel limitation, where pressing the demo button bursts into a Sting song or a Wagner, loud as hell.
Maybe I would have learned just the same, but I would have had to figure out the ‘chunks’, the limitations by myself. So my conclusions are: 1) learning is one of those fields in which less is more, and 2) when trying to help someone learn, removing options is not imposing a handicap; it is being considerate.
Can you think of other examples of learning under controlled circumstances? Do you impose yourself limitations to help you learn something? Ever had a Casiotone PT-1?
Nacho Jordi is a psychologist and translator who lives in Madrid (Spain). He is the author of the Zerebria blog, where he offers tips and hints for personal development and conscious living, besides all kind of contemporary musings.
Posted by Raul on January 13, 2011
When you take a look at car manufacturer information about the fuel consumption (or economy) they claim, you’ll see that you live in an era of extremely efficient cars. If you make the calculations for yourself, you’ll see that is not so.
The internal combustion engine (gas and diesel engines) have a design that is more that one hundred years old, and what is being improved throughout the time is the efficiency of operation, but the concept is still outdated. A gas or diesel engine uses about 30 percent of the fuel it consumes…the rest is lost mostly in heat.
Looking at the information sheets in windows of new cars you’ll see mileages of 18 to 25; 25 to 31, etc. But a simple procedure will tell you how much fuel you are really burning in your daily errands.
Next time you fill up the tank, do it until the nozzle jump off by itself, then set the partial odometer to zero and drive as you usually do. When the time comes to fill up the tank again, do it also until the nozzle jump off by itself, write down the mileage in the partial odometer and divide that number by the amount of gallons shown in the receipt. You’ll be surprised by the numbers.
With this little test you’ll be able to discover several things:
-The real mileage your vehicle is giving you
-Which brands of fuel gives you the best mileage (there is difference!)
-Which driving habits give you better mileage
-Early detection of mechanical and electrical problems in your engine by the drop in mileage (if you keep doing this every time you fill up the tank)
From what I’ve seen, sport utilities and pick up trucks usually give around 14-18 MPG, while a four cylinder car will be in the 20-27 MPG margin, which is a 50% more miles per gallon.
If you drive an average of 1000 miles a month (which is normal for most people), and switch from a sport utility vehicle to a four cylinder car, you will save around 20 gallons of fuel a month, which in turns, could be a saving of 50 dollars a month, or 600 dollars a year!
If we multiply this savings in gallons of fuel by the number of cars in the US, we could see that several tankers can get lost in their way here. The amount of pollution can be greatly reduced, and even the streets will become instantly “wider” by the use of smaller cars. All on top of personal savings for everyone driving a car
Raul
