Posted by Raul on November 17, 2009
Grab my jacket. It’s cold outside. Check the keys in my pocket, the cell phone and wallet and go out of the house. Morning walk; not something I do often, but today I have to get out! I have to leave this empty place!
Still some more minutes for the sun to rise above the horizon and give its shining light that’ll make difficult to see without getting blinded. Still some more minutes of morning light without the sun, so the mist and cold air can be taken as a feeling, as it is within me.
The streets are full with cars going in every direction, people walking in a hurry with their minds somewhere else.
How long it’s been? How many years? How many attempts to find the right one? How many encounters and short friendships that end up in diluted communication that finally die to never again hear from each other? I take a deep breath of this refreshing cold air.
Winter is approaching and soon snow will be here. My heart is cold! I can feel my tired body walking with no destination in mind. By moments I feel I could cry. Where are you? Why it’s so difficult to find someone, just one! So many people around, I’m walking among them, yet I’m walking alone! I look at their faces, strangers.
Cold air around my head is getting me a frozen face, I can’t smile anymore! A cup of coffee somewhere? Alone? How about a nice chat? Who will seat in front of me so we can see each other’s eyes and smile, and talk and feel warmth inside? I could cry right now!
Change direction, take an empty street, I want to be alone. I am alone! I want to have the freedom of letting some tears go out without other people looking at me. It’s difficult to breath, my chest and throat are tight, I can’t swallow without pain. I try to breath to relax but can’t. I reduce the pace of my walking to a stop, concentrate in breathing, look around, no one…I cry! My legs are weak, my body trembles, look down, look up, breath deep, close my eyes, relax. I start walking again. I head for home.
Home? It’ll be home if you were there; a place to go back everyday to find your smile, your arms, your company. This is not home, this is just my place; a big box where I can keep my stuff.
Where are you? Will I meet you someday? Will be you in the next encounter? Is there someone out there for me? Will I be alone forever? I’ll keep looking, what else can I do?
Posted by Raul on November 14, 2009
It surprises me when I see so many lonely people today. In times when technology allows so easy communication with the internet, cell phones, and even easy transportation to visit someone, people seems to be so isolated!
Emails on the internet fly by millions but mostly re-sent messages of jokes, chain letters or spam. At least that’s 99 percent of what I get!
Looking around in any street I can see lots of people talking in their cell phones while walking, driving, and even jogging! So many features available, conference calls, picture taking capabilities, email, etc.
Yet people remain alone!
What’s going on? Going to a party I can see how they talk, laugh, dance, hook up, even fight, but they are like lonely units sharing one place where they exercise their speaking capability. They are not communicating!
A group seated at a table; they are talking, often many at once telling their story, everybody talks, no one listen, just short answers like “wow”, “really?”, “no kidding!” And they keep talking all night long.
What happened with that custom of talking by turns? One speaks, the others listen, then give their point of view while the one who spoke listen the other’s opinions. Ideas are put on the table and discussed, analyzed. Each one provides their knowledge in the matter and through “conversation” the idea is grown, polished, and everybody learn something from the others. Everybody grows a little more and get fond with each other; friendship develop.
In those groups talking today I can see more “monologues” in group than “conversations”
When I was a child the custom was children listen and observe while adults talk. With that we learn to absorb the meaning of the words and had time to think for an answer in case we were asked. Today I see parents on the cell phone while kids scream: “hold on a second…are you okay? these kids!…what was I telling you?”
People talk, they don’t communicate anymore.
Kids have become a problem instead of a joy, they mean paying daycare and complications for the couple to go out and have fun instead of now being a family, and with it, a change in lifestyle. Parents don’t play with their kids anymore.
When kids are five parents buy them toys.
When kids are ten parents buy them electronic devices.
When kids are fifteen parents buy them a car.
When kids are seventeen parents complain: “teenagers!”
They forgot how to develop a relationship with their kids. Kids didn’t learn how to develop a relationship at all. So now we have lonely people.
They try to buy more stuff, a bigger house, a bigger and newer sport utility, the latest cell phone, computer or car stereo so they can feel they are someone: “I am what I have, if I have nothing, I am no one” They are trying to buy through material stuff instead of self growth the attractiveness to others. What happened with: “I am what I do, this is what I can do, this is who I am”
As long as people keep on materialism they will remain alone!
When people recover the art of conversation they will be able to develop friendships with others and their own kids and family; after that they won’t feel alone anymore, and won’t need material stuff to be someone. They will know who they are.
Raul
