Posted by Raul on March 31, 2011
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They used to be all around, flying aimlessly, close to each other, silently existing for no reason at all. They were there, creating that strange feeling that seems to be proper of just once in a lifetime.
Sounds of a voice, a gesture, maybe a silly look of stranger eyes that were to be known little by little as time went by; they were born out of those and remained there for a short lived life.
So colorful! So vibrant! So alive! Butterflies that changed the elements around, the organization of things, the perception of life; just to leave behind spider webs as a memorial reminder of what used to be, and that now concentrate in catching the dust of time.
Their brief life reminding us all of the fragility of a moment in time: Dead Butterflies!
Raul
(Projections)
Posted by Raul on March 8, 2011
And then the old syndrome of: “Someday I’ll be able to stop saying someday”, just to drag life on another year. Who will subscribe?
“Spring is coming! Spring is coming!” -The inner voice raced across the city with the news.
The frozen lake is no more…instead seagulls feed at will with madness, flying all over the place.
Some say life is like a roll of toilet paper…the closer to the end, the faster it goes.
Some say life is like a cigarette…a pleasure at the beginning but stinky at the end (and only a bad smell left…Yikes!).
Some say life is like getting drunk…laughing and dancing with abandon at first, to end up unable to stand and walk by the end…Aw!
New technologies = easier life…incommunicado!
Facing the unknown from the comfort of an internet terminal at home equals little experience in facing life for the growing child. The art of physical interaction become lost.
Nowadays, and for more and more people, the number of minutes used on the cell phone seems to be inversely proportional to the amount of company felt.
A mirror shows just the machine, but not the driver.
Getting lost in the requirements of survival and their luxury extensions, that brings enhanced pleasures to the instincts. Starving souls leaving the physical plane?
All the spirits gather in the ether and conform the thinking and deciding entity that controls the cosmos…God is a Union!
Thinking in a bi-dimensional plane there are only two options to the problem. In a tri-dimensional plane there are six. (At least it becomes an “intelligent” confusion!)
I guess I’ve spent too much time without writing, and the thoughts fly around like small, winged demons, making fun of the driver!
Raul
Posted by Raul on January 6, 2011
Standing here in the cold, getting so much snow, freezing! I can’t wait to go again, move, go somewhere and do something! Get this cold feeling out of me while running around.
I wish I had a home like some other lucky ones that have a roof to spend the winter; a roof to protect myself from this blowing snow and wind that always get the best of me. Summer is fine and even that the sun can be really harsh sometimes at least doesn’t get me paralyzed like cold does.
There are times when I get myself lost in my memories of the times when I was young and stronger. Those times when I used to shine in the presence of others, older than me, and thinking that the whole world was waiting for me to see. Those younger years, how wonderful times!
Now I’m old and don’t get much attention and I know, they are mostly waiting for me to die and then get rid of me once and for all. How easily they forget! How many times they needed me and were dependant on me.
I am deteriorating, I know; maybe another winter, maybe not. Everything inside me is dying, I can feel it! Then I’ll be gone.
The kids, I remember, they were so happy to spend time with me, now they have grown and gone; they have their lives, kids of their own.
So what is the meaning of life? To be used when needed and discarded when old? Forgotten, like an old blanket worn out by time. And what is so special about me? Would someone be interested in me at this advanced age? Wanting to take care and make me young and strong again? Would I get to be loved again for who I am and not for what I can do for others? Am I so special for someone to say “don’t let him die”?
I guess is the way things are for an old family car like me!
Raul
(The actual owner of the car)
P.S. Old, battered car for sale!
Posted by Raul on December 20, 2010
It’s been a long time since visiting this old house. Maybe the memories are too many; maybe the sadness of the departure is too much, I don’t know.
We used to walk for hours talking about so many things; I holding his hand and jumping from time to time, hanging from the strong arm of the old man. Listening to the stories that came every time we walked down this path, to finally without fault, end up the trip in the old bench under the trees, to listen more amazing stories about every little object and creature that could be seen around.
Fall was the time to go visit for I don’t remember what reason. A child running over the accumulated leaves on the ground, and the smile of the old man intently watching, perhaps immersed in memories of his own childhood, gone long time ago.
The wind blowing leaves sometimes, and the cold air coming in everyday with more intensity, as fall made its grand entrance to the stage of life in that remote corner of the world.
Years later, coming back on my own, just to make a short visit to the old man and have a little chat close to the fireplace inside his home.
I remember the time I came with a big smile and a heart full of hopes, after receiving the white paper with golden letters that certified my graduation to the profession that should be the beginning of an exciting life ahead. I remember the serious look in his eyes while reading the piece of paper, then the hand shaking with some emotional eyes that reflected pride and support.
Standing from the big chair and walking to a closet at the other end of the room, to grab an old bottle of wine reserved for some special occasion. A drink by the fireplace, the feeling of being supported, the continuation of himself through the ways of the little one that wasn’t a child anymore, and could be considered another adult, worth of having a glass of wine with.
Then, years later, driving the old road to the old house, to introduce to the old man the new one, the fourth in line, the one just born a couple of months before. His tired hands holding the baby and looking at him with serious eyes, as analyzing the veracity of his existence, or perhaps the pride of seeing how life gave him another step in his long road, I don’t know.
By the time of the next visit strangers where there, violating the space and the property that used to be the old man’s life. Learning then that he was no more, that he was gone, to the eternal trip to become part of the universe, the whole; leaving a feeling of emptiness in those who remained behind.
Today I came back, to the house of a stranger, to walk the trails with tall trees giving the leaves away to cover the ground one more time before winter takes place. Walking the same path done so many times in the past, recalling so many memories of the time spent with the old man.
The bench is still there, but showing signs of not being used anymore, perhaps for a long time now, but standing strong as a monument to the memories that will never die. The place where the old man and I sat for hours to talk, creating that strong relationship that cannot be explained with words…
Posted by Raul on October 28, 2010
Dark clouds will come to stay and it’ll rain everyday
A chilly breeze will take home and remain
Birds will lower their voices and no singing will be heard again
And all the material toys will become stone and collect dust as their only purpose
And home will become a box
And sunshine just a memory
And laughter will migrate to an unknown place
And the sense of reality will fade
And every road will loose its end
A dark, silent creature standing in the middle of nowhere
Surrounded by an unseen, vibrant, alive world
Haunted by memories and feelings
But only tears will flourish
And a long forgotten smile will stay away
From one reality to another
Like an instant travel between two different worlds
So lost, so confused!
After you die…
