Posted by Raul on October 7, 2010
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She came walking down the hall with the baby in her arms all covered with a grey blanket, she wasn’t smiling or looking at the baby as anybody would expect, and after reaching the visitors area where I was waiting, she proceeded to give me the baby with a cold look like saying; “you are the bad man who made suffer so much that poor woman…here’s your crime!”
I received the baby from the nurse’s arms and with the anticipation of his five days of life in which I wasn’t allowed to see him, I proceeded to carefully remove a little bit of the covers to take a long wanted look at my son. I couldn’t distinguish much and only was able to see a dark creature that was gently moving and making a slight noise that reminded me of a little cat, so my first impression and though was to call him that way: “Black Cat”
It was an amazing experience to see that small human being quietly sleeping, completely unaware of the world, life and his own path in front of him.
Several times looking at him and thinking of the giant task given.
A human being just arrived; no memories but a blank space ready to receive the information his parents will give him in his first years and that will become the basic program that will allow him to start his first steps in life and the road that will be his for the years to come.
No physical capabilities to stand, walk or even manipulate things that will allow him to survive on his own. If I gently leave him on the floor and walk away he would die after a couple of days.
Memories and knowledge to be recorded; love to be given in a way he can receive it without any previous experience, together with the expected nurturing of a growing body.
So many elements to take care of and make sure it is done right, so not to misguide the life and the future of a just arrived human being!
And no “Owner’s Manual” Just the infinite number of opinions and experiences of so many well intentioned people that wanted to help, but also wanted to apply the same recipe for every baby, with complete disregard of genetic characteristics, actual environment and preferred, alternative futures.
But then the intrinsic sweetness and beauty of a baby that knows nothing about the world he is in. Feeling his abandon while sleeping in my arms, like knowing that I was there for him, to protect him, to make sure he will be alright.
And then, after just a couple of months, his smile and arms flapping, like a small bird trying to fly, calling the attention of his parents to get in their arms so to travel and look around what must have been the giant world of the apartment we where living in.
-Almost 5 months!
And sometimes for us the desperate feelings of not knowing the reason for a baby crying, just to find a couple minutes later it was an empty stomach taking over the basic programming…the instincts.
Survival of the fullest! 
So many beautiful memories of a time long gone, to the point today where we share the electric shaver, exchange tennis shoes and T shirts, but also we still share the cookie jar and years old jokes.
It is amazing that once a child needed all the help and teaching and now he has become the teacher in many aspects. Even to write posts in this blog I get lots of ideas and a better understanding of others by the conversations we have about history and politics, subjects he has a great deal of knowledge about (he’s in his senior year of History and Political Science)
It’s been a wild ride with so many mistakes and so many successes, many moments of laughter, worries and continuous thinking on how are we doing and how can we improve it.
Now I see him with his own thoughts, feelings and dreams; his own knowledge and plans for the future and I can’t forget the little baby that came to visit us and stayed around for so many years, bringing with him an entire new perception and way of life, to become quickly and forever a part of us in our hearts…
Raul
-Almost 20 years! And playing “Captain Morgan”
Posted by Raul on September 20, 2010
There have been many inventions throughout time that we can classify as very important or useful in our lives, many creations that have helped us in achieving things or simplify our everyday tasks.
One of my personal favorites is the bicycle!
Even though I wasn’t an “all the time” rider, I did have my share of bicycles in my younger years in the past Millennium (yeah, I’m that old!) and I can remember brief images of happiness while pedaling around the block and trying things with my trusted bicycle of the moment.
It is my opinion there is no other transportation device that allows us to enjoy and experience the surroundings while traveling better than a bicycle. We can feel the breeze and the wind; we can hear every sound around and smell every scent that happens to be in the area we are going through.
About twenty five years ago I read in a newspaper the news about a man who wanted to travel and see the world, so he said goodbye to his girlfriend and took his bicycle to travel almost all around the planet, which took him twenty years! When he finished his trip he went back to find his girlfriend was still waiting for him, so they got married
At one hand, talk about waiting for a loved one! But at the other, what an experience it must have been! All the sights, all the feelings, all the memories…I would love to do something like that, but I’m not that crazy! (No, I won’t do it)
Such a simple machine that works as an “energy multiplier”
With the same energy used for walking five miles we can travel fifteen miles, thanks to the bicycle. We also can transport more packages than we could when just holding them in our hands.
I’m not talking here about the “green” aspect of a bicycle, which is very important nowadays indeed, but if you consider that a bicycle doesn’t need fuel, oil, heavy maintenance, registration, insurance, etc, there are so many elements, expenses and work we can save ourselves from when riding a bicycle instead of a car, or even a motorcycle or a scooter.
So for these reasons a bicycle represents freedom to move and explore, without having to carry too many tools or spare parts and without being dependant on finding supplies and fuel on the road.
“The bicycle will rule in apocalyptic times!” (Just kidding)
But maybe is mostly a thing for older generations.
My son is not a bicycle rider; he is just not interested and rather prefers to ride the bus when going back and forth to college, so he can relax and listen to history podcasts in his ipod. I think is a great thing though, so he is using the transportation time in a way of acquiring more knowledge…a practical way to use time.
But for the older generations the bicycle was more about enjoying the moment than using it wisely, I must admit (at least in my case)
So when I have the time and some energy left, I like to jump over my bicycle and have a short trip around in the area where I live, just to revive those memories of a child pedaling with energy against the wind; having a reddish face with the heat and a big smile that reflected a being enjoying the surroundings, the views, the breeze and the sights; enjoying the moment, the now, in this amazing planet we have.
Raul
Posted by Raul on July 26, 2010
The thing is, I hate when people say “I’m sorry” because I think “why didn’t you anticipate the problem?” For me people who say sorry too easy is people who is used to not thinking of the consequences of their actions and just throw the “sorry” word to get “clean” and move on…easy life!
We can see how adults teach their children to go that way when, instead of teaching them to think before acting, just let them be anyway they want and later tell them to “say sorry”, so the child say sorry and keep going the same way without learning anything from the situation.
Then, when being an adult, the same situation occurs, only the wording can become more complex or have more variations: “Oh I’m terribly sorry” “I’m so sorry” and so on.
It is not just that in those situations it becomes annoying the continuous line of “mistakes and sorry sayings” but it is also how it affects in life. When we don’t learn to think before doing, in small things could be (could be) OK, but the bigger things are the ones to mostly worry about.
-Love relationships that go awry because each one acts without thinking, then the flood of “sorry” that leaves each one with the feeling of not being important for the other
-A 16 years old kid driving really fast without thinking ahead, then crash and burn, and even worst, taking someone else in the process.
-Should I mention drunk driving?
Learning to think ahead is not just about preventing problems but also is about considering those around in the equation so no longer it is all about “me” and “the situation around me” but it is also about learning to respect the others as equals; so teaching to anticipate consequences also teaches respect for the others.
“Not teaching is teaching selfishness”
Then, without learning to think ahead it’s easy to:
-Become selfish and egoist
-Not learning to give love and dedication
-Not being capable of receiving love
-Living confused about what’s really important in life
-Becoming a materialistic being (many times to compensate)
-Risking injury and life, own and others
-Becoming racist and segregationist
And the list can go on and on…
Teaching our children to think before doing or saying something not only is about good manners, have a more fulfilling life and helping them to develop better relationships in their future, but sometimes is also about making sure they will have a future at all.
Raul
Posted by Raul on January 6, 2010
Let’s get serious here! We need to be more childish.
A five years old child can get amazed with the sight of a rabbit running around, a flying bird, a flower, a discovery, maybe a simple toy.
An adult, responsible person, has to be serious, hard working, concerned with the material world, without time for simplicities like moments of observing nature, enjoying the breeze, the sunshine, etc.
In this society we are raised to be grey!
How about being a little childish so to keep the capability of marvel on simple things from life? Keeping the possibility of enjoying what we have instead of suffering for what we don’t have.
Throughout our lives we are reminded of being responsible people (which is good) but the child in us is repressed because is not proper of a responsible adult, so we become grey people trying to do right things and forgetting simple, marvelous ones.
It’s no wonder after a while we require the accumulation of material stuff in order to justify the loss of something inside us…our childish side.
Basically our childish side is still with us, just repressed; and it struggles to surface in the way of acquiring toys that are accepted among adults, like cars, houses, clothing, etc.
These material possessions are presented as trophies of someone who lives a successful life, but many times these are no other than replacement toys for a child inside the grey, responsible adult in the outside.
A big house, a luxury motorhome and boat, ATVs, several fancy cars, maybe a motorcycle with lots of chrome. Are these the reflection of a logic, mature adult? Or maybe it is more the reaction of a repressed child inside?
Do we really need all this elements as appropriate tools for everyday life?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not against having material possessions; what I am against is of living in the wrong concept without realizing that what we are after is really toys for our inner child and not the reflection of a successful, responsible adult.
With a hand in our heart, we don’t need all that stuff, we just want it, and if we decide not to get it, and because of that we are criticize by others, that should only mean they don’t understand their inner selves.
Do we get these to satisfy others? Like I show them I did it in life? Or maybe I am acting like a child that needs approval from the rest?
If I know who I am I don’t need to feel their approval so I don’t have to comply with an imposed standard of success; then I’m free to realize all these material possessions are just the toys for my inner child.
Let’s recognize the child within us, let give this child room for living inside and free to help us be happier, enjoying the simple things from life. If we do that, next time we stand in front of all our material possessions we will see them with different eyes.
Raul
