Aspie World 31 – Hearing the World

2015-06-10  Aspie World 31 - Hearing the world

It is very surprising for people that for me it is easier to write than to speak, mostly because with them is exactly the opposite. I can’t deny it has always intrigued me why while for most talking is easier than writing (which is the natural thing considering that talking is the primary way of communication, while writing, together with drawing, are more complex ways), for me talking (and understanding when people talk to me) is the most difficult.

While for many years I thought maybe my hearing wasn’t good enough, lately I’ve been surprised at the number of different small sounds I can hear, which brought me back to the question why. I believe I’ve found the answer in my actual job.

Since it is working in a factory assembly line in a clean room, there are all kind of loud noises coming from the machines at movement and the supply of running vacuum and compressed air, but also there is the smock, hood, boots, sleeves, gloves and safety glasses we have to wear, so together with the loud noises, the hood covering my ears deny me of a complete listening capability, so my understanding when other people talk has become a lot more difficult now (and for the past 4 years) than what used to be before at other works I’ve held in the past.

Because of the hood covering the ears, together with the loud noises, it wasn’t a surprise for me I couldn’t hear well, but what surprised me was that other people, including immigrant co-workers who have a poorer knowledge of the English Language than me can hear and understand a lot better than I can.

My only conclusion is that my hearing range could be different from the one other people might have. But this implies more than just not being able to understand easily what other people say!

If my hearing range is different than normal (because I am an Aspie), then that means I have learned the language in a different way than most people did, so when I hear a word pronounced I hear something completely different from what others hear, and that must have led me to learn the wrong pronunciation of every single word I know!

No wonder why few people can understand when I speak, and it is so difficult for me to understand when they speak!! And then no wonder why for me it’s easier to write than to speak; by being an Aspie and living in a more solitary way I would naturally tend to have more practice writing than speaking, but also by having more problems when verbally interacting, unconsciously I probably retrieved even more to the writing area rather than the speaking one, making even worst the whole situation!!

Now, it is not just a matter of applying myself harder to the speaking area in order to improve in it since if my conclusions are true, my hearing range will always keep me in a different spectrum of pronounced words understanding and my own pronunciation.

Although, there are solutions by the means of hearing tests and audio-phonology works (which right now are out of my reach because of the costs), I guess at this time of my life (being 52), my main interests have shifted and rather than trying to learn to participate in the world, I have come to desire more to retrieve to a corner of it, and dedicate myself to the delightful pleasures of writing my observations of the human race and its rather strange (for me) behavior.

So happiness is back in place, being the previous just a simple observation of an old time question in my mind of another among thousands of “why” floating in my ethereal (and Aspie) mind.

Raul

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Aspie World 30 – Software and Behavior

2015-06-08  Aspie World 30 - Software and Behaviors

 

It always surprise me how people give a different face. For example, in a job, someone doesn’t like a co-worker, but when together they smile and chat like they really liked each other. I can understand the courtesy to be polite and educated, and to avoid unnecessary conflicts, but the way they talk is not just politeness but plain friendly, as if they really liked each other! To me it looks like pretending and being dishonest with the other person and with oneself.

I do have people that I don’t like at work and they know it! I am polite and say Hi when seeing them; I ask them how are they doing, and always say please and thank you when having to interact with them for work related issues, but I’m always with a serious, very formal face. I guess the message from my mind is clear: “I’m being polite while we discuss work related stuff, but I’m not interested in anything else with you

It seems logic to me, and while I can understand the concept of “keeping the party in peace”, and recognize that my way might be too cold and to an extreme, still it seems to me normal people go to the other extreme in this kind of situations, thus living in an environment where everything becomes relative and dependant on the last second reaction, attitude or manipulation, forcing the parties to continually keep guard in the situation. What unnecessary complexity!

OK, I’m an Aspie, and we Aspies don’t have the “human interaction software” uploaded in our brains. Maybe it is really easy for normal people to do this when having the proper software. But still it seems to me that it creates an environment of relativism rather than fact, promoting with it the slowing down of possible advancing in whatever the objectives of the job at hand may be.

My only conclusion in this very common behavior is that, in normal people the socialization software keeps taking over when two people get to the required close distance for the software to activate, and so it does, even if the other person is someone they might not like.

In other words, personal opinion or preference, by being a learned or recorded capacity, it is easily overridden by the brain software. Someone may not like another person, but his/her brain software is stronger than his/her personal opinion; while in my Aspie brain, by not having the socialization software, my personal opinion about another person can easily become “visible” at all the times.

Now, by being an Aspie, thus not having the socialization software, I’ve always put more emphasis in my personal opinion about another person over my (inexistent) need of socialization, while for normal people, it should be a completely natural thing to behave the way they do, especially because for them liking and socializing can be considered two completely different situations when interacting with someone else, making it the natural way to be, as it clearly is.

I can understand and accept that as a characteristic difference between species, and that is fine with me, but the problem that this distinctive behavioral configuration creates is that, in my personal case, by not having also the appropriate software for face and body communication reading, I cannot know if when someone is being nice and talkative with me, that is his/her real opinion of me, or just his/her socialization software at work, denying me with this the knowledge of where everybody really stand.

Raul

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The Path

2015-06-01  The Path

Many times a picture can say so much depending on how you look at it. To me this one seems to reflect so well what going through life is.

We seem to have a path to follow in our lives, mostly because of what has been placed in front of us by our parent’s lives, so the environment we are born in creates our path.

But looking at the sides it seems more adventurous to just leave the path and try something different from what we suppose to live, yet the tempting views from the sides are also a little scary, mostly because they reflect the unknown, with dangers we don’t know about.

So we can see our path in front of us, while at the same time we can see a life without a established path at the sides of it, so it is our choice where do we go, and when.

To me, this picture really reflects so well what life can be!!

Raul

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River Living

2015-05-27  River Living

Although by its concept it does limit the possibilities to experience what is by the side of the river, and the river itself, you can’t deny the image presents a possibility of an adventurous life rather than a comfortable one.

When I saw this picture for the first time, I spent a lot of time trying to imagine what a life in this situation could be. I am a big fan of the motorhomes for consider them more like a house on wheels, meaning by that you have a place to live, yet you are not tied down to live in one place only, but rather have the possibility to live in your comfortable small space with your stuff organized your way, yet living in many different places through time.

But this pictures defied my concepts by presenting a possibility of moving through a river rather than highways, which in itself becomes very limiting, yet still seems to be better than a house tied down to the ground.

Obviously many types of boats nowadays can give you lots of comfort to live in them, and they will have better sailing control than the arrangement presented in this picture, so I suppose this is more like the poor man’s boat option, yet it is a possibility when it comes to live in a river.

Still, whatever the preferences you may have when it comes to living, you can’t deny this picture does promote the free fly of the imagination, doesn’t it?

Raul

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Memorial Day

2015-05-25  Memorial Day

It is Memorial Day in the US. Today people in the US commemorate those who died while in the armed forces, fighting in a US war; any war in US history.

It is a very deeply engraved tradition in US people, observed since around 1865, and which in part shapes the mentality and ways of living Americans have; a sense of respect and admiration to those who have served and died in the armed forces in the US.

Since Memorial Day is a US holiday, and by being born and growing up in another country, this is a holiday I didn’t know until I migrated to the US (obviously this is not a holiday observed anywhere else in the world), so naturally for me the meaning of this day is not the same as it is for an American born and grown person.

But there is another reason why I don’t perceive this holiday in the same way Americans do, and that has to do with my personal opinion about the existence, and even more, the acceptance of the existence of war and armed forces in the human race.

I wrote a post about what my perception is about war, the existence of armed forces, and the pride involved in mass human confrontation within the human race throughout its recorded history; but by knowing the perception Americans have of it, it has been really difficult to find a time to publish it, which is away enough of days like Memorial Day and the Fourth of July, so to not hurt feelings in people.

I know it would hurt feelings because every time I had the opportunity to explain the concepts to someone, American or not, they seem to dislike the ideas I present them. And most probably it is because those ideas go in a different direction of what humans are; in other words, humans would not be humans if they had these different concepts integrated within their instinctual behavior

But most important; what I have noticed while explaining these concepts to people is that, especially Americans, seem to take it personal, rather than seeing it as just a concept proposal, like an exercise of the mind only, and not a criticism of American mentality and behavior, but rather an observation of the whole human race characteristic of behavior.

So for now let me just stand quietly in sign of respect for American people’s beliefs, while they commemorate and show their signs of respect to those fallen in American wars.

Raul

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