About the Spirit in the Mirror

2015-02-13  About the Spirit in the Mirror

Staring at the figure in the mirror we have the chance to see (if we choose to do so) the real being that wonders around in this physical world, inside the vessel provided for the task.

Not so many choose to do so…

I’ve done it myself many times, and as a norm, I get even more confused than before. Perhaps the weirdest thing is that, when looking at the image of a physical body in the mirror, if we really try, we can see the entity (or spirit or soul) that is behind that machine created to roam this physical life.

How easy is then to realize of the temporary nature of “life”, and the importance of the bigger tasks while being here. Instead of getting lost in the requirements of survival and their luxury extensions that bring enhanced pleasures to the instincts, we could spend this temporary time in the growth of the “driver” rather than the “machine”

Using life to grow the spirit by the means of a physical experience, instead of the continual feeding of the instincts to the point of allowing a starving soul to leave when the time on physical life is up.



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To Be Polite

2015-02-11  To Be Polite

In the previous post I mention that a Gay man is not someone who feels as a woman inside, which is the belief of majority of people around.

Where I work, the team I work with is of about 50 people, so we have a great variety of “human samples”. We have Gay guys, Lesbian gals and one Two Spirit person.

Because of this, and due to my curiosity about humans and human behavior, I’ve been asking questions to try to understand the differences between one and another.

This is what I’ve been explained:

Gay – A man who feels happy being a man, but happens to like other men instead of women.

Lesbian – A woman who feels happy being a woman, but happens to like other women instead of men.

Transsexual / Transgender – A man or a woman who happens to be in the wrong body, so feels inside as being of the opposite sex he or she has, thus like people of the same sex they have.

Two Spirit – (Term extracted from the American-Indian culture) A man or a woman who has also another person (man or woman) within the same body, so they are two people occupying one body. If a man and a woman, the man feels as a man and like women, and the woman feels as a woman and like men, yet a Two Spirit person is often confused with a Gay or Lesbian person.

Crossdresser / Transvestite – A man or a woman who enjoys dressing as the opposite sex, to pretend to be of the opposite sex to have fun for a moment, but he or she feels fine as the sex they are, so they like people of the opposite sex.

There are many more classifications, but these are the basic five that predominate

I’ve been explained it is offensive to call Gay a Transsexual person and vice versa, so it becomes important to know the differences to be polite when the situation of talking with a Gay or a Transsexual / Transgender person arises, and that’s why I decided to post the differences here.



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Two Spirits People

2015-02-09  Two Spirits People

It surprises me when I see that people in general have a hard time when trying to understand and mostly accept the concept of Two Spirits in a person.

Throughout time when someone acts in a completely different behavior from time to time, it has been considered that person has a problem in the working of his brain and requires psychiatric attention. But lately the concept of Two Spirits has been brought to attention to people, mostly by the Gay community.

In this concept, it is said a person has two spirits in his brain, so it is really two persons living inside one body, and using the body by turns. In psychiatric history there are many cases of a man who acts as completely different man in certain situations. In the Gay community they say a man can also “contain” a woman inside, so is not a man who feels as a woman, but a man in a body that also has a woman inside.

Now, the concept of two spirits is really very simple, and most people can understand it at first, but they seem to have a hard time accepting it, even though many of them are religious people, or at least believe in a god and the traveling of human spirits to physical life.

In a simplified form, it is about the eternal human spirit that comes to occupy a physical body to live physical life, which constitutes the “Gift of Life”, and after that life has been completed, the body dies returning to its origins (the ground) and the spirit travels somewhere else. In some religions to Hell or Heaven depending on how the person’s behavior has been, and in other religions to occupy another body (human or animal) to come back to physical life again, constituting “Re-Incarnation”

In any case, it is about a spirit (the person) occupying a physical body to live physical life.

So the possibility of a body being occupied by two spirits is not so crazy after all!! It could be by accident; designation of a god; a mistake from nature; a mutual decision of the involved spirits; who knows, but the possibility is plausible.

In most cases people can understand the concept and agree to the possibility, yet when it comes to accept it, they seem to have a hard time!! If someone says he has two spirits within, let’s say, he is a man and have a woman also inside (the second spirit), then the man is a man and the woman is a woman, yet most people, after understanding the concept of two spirits, still tend to consider that man a gay man (a man who really is a woman inside) instead of a two spirit person.

Now, a gay man is not someone who feels as a woman inside, but I’ll explain the differences between Gay, Transsexual, Crossdresser, etc in the next post.

The thing is, it surprises me when people can understand something, yet cannot accept it until it becomes a trend of acceptance by the majority of people, just like when people used to understand that black people were equal to white people, yet still existed discrimination against them.

Humans are really curious creatures!!



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Ten Years in 90 Minutes

2015-02-04  Ten Years in 90 Minutes (1)

For a while I decided to try and have long hair instead of short, as I always had before. But since my hair is very thin, it takes some effort and special care to make it grow longer. Because of this, and after several months taking that special care, I finally got the pleasure to have long hair.

Now, since by having Fibromyalgia Syndrome makes me have lots of pain in my legs, together with stiffness that reduces my mobility, when I saw a brochure about “flotation tanks” for relaxation and pain relief (among another 3,000 benefits), I decided to give them a try and see by myself if they would be of any help.

This flotation tanks (which I did not know they even existed) are basically an oversized metal coffin that contain very salty water (special salts), so you can very easily float almost to the surface of the water. They claim by floating inside this tanks in complete darkness can give you the feeling of floating in space, which suppose to give you complete calmness and relaxation; and by not having to use any muscles in your body, plus the healing powers of the special salts used in the water, your body pain can be reduced greatly, if not eliminated, at least for a while.

Sounded like too much, but since many times the pain in my body and especially in my legs is also too much, I decided to give them a try; after all, I was just risking 60 dollars for the 90 minutes session…not bad!

The thing is, I went, I tried the 90 minutes, and then went home with a lot less pain in my legs, and almost no stiffness, so could walk normally again after a year of having the syndrome. I was feeling great and very happy of having found a possible relief to the continuous pain and stiffness in my legs!!

While at the tank, the feeling of floating in complete darkness and silence didn’t feel much like being in space (although I have to admit I have never been in space), but rather more like an amusement park where you get the chance to experience “space” for a couple of dollars, and in which you go through the ride with a smile rather than a dropped jaw.

It was cool though!!

The problem was that, after about 30 minutes, when I got home, my hair was white and dry like hay!!! I looked at myself in the mirror with complete disbelief when watching the image of a man 10 years older than me!! Then a quick mind checklist of all the possible causes for that, and could only conclude it must have been the “special” salts in the tank.

2015-02-04  Ten Years in 90 Minutes (2)

A quick reading again of the brochure confirmed that I didn’t miss anything when reading it the first time; it simply there was no warning that the salts in the water might damage certain types of hair.

So the only thing left for me was simply to get a hair cut and forget about long hair, which I’m still not very happy about!

But thinking in my most positive way, I assumed the owners of the floatation tank place didn’t know this could happen to some people, so decided to give them a visit and show them my hair and suggest them to add in the brochures a warning of this possibility to some people, so they could prevent customers from getting their hair destroyed, and to themselves avoid the possibility of being sued.

When I went to the place, there were four young guys with big smiles in their faces while completing and signing the waiver, to then have fun in the tanks. I explained the situation to the lady at the desk, but instead of she getting a sense of urgency on adapting the brochures to prevent customers from having a bad experience, she limited herself to say I signed a waiver (telling me with that I shouldn’t complain, which I was not), and in any possibility the waiver should protect them from any law suit!!

In no moment she demonstrated any care about customer satisfaction, not even when I told her she had nice long hair, how would she feel if something like that happened to her.

So I finished telling her I was just trying to avoid other customers the bad experience, and to them the possibility of being sued, since even with a signed waiver, by not warning people about the possible risks on the tanks they were doing misleading publicity.

I walked away from the place knowing that I will never go back, and wondering if the four young guys there, who fell completely silent while the lady at the desk and I had our conversation, would really enjoy the experience after that.

Oh well, I guess no more French writer look (or locomotive machinist) for me!! LOL


2015-02-04  Ten Years in 90 Minutes (3)


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2015-02-02  Memories

On April 15, 2014 I wrote a post called Departure. I really don’t remember which day she left in a flash; all I remember now is that she called me at work and told me she was leaving the next day, so I offered to take her to the departure point to say goodbye.

I didn’t want her to leave; I wanted her to stay, so we could keep meeting and having a wonderful time together talking. I wanted to be more than just friends, but being married I had to remain at a distance. I guess she also wanted a relationship bigger than just friends, but she wouldn’t be a lover on the side, and I couldn’t divorce just like that, so things didn’t work out.

So she left in a flash!!

She called me and we agreed to meet the next day at the bus station that would take her thousand of miles away, yet that same night she called again to say she changed the ticket and that she was leaving right now, at that very moment, while I was still at work!! I couldn’t say goodbye, I couldn’t give her a last hug; I couldn’t see her for the last time!!

I never heard from her again!!

Her phone number didn’t work anymore; she didn’t have an email address, and she never called back, so I never heard from her again, I guess just how she wanted things to be.

It took me a long time to get her out of my head and get myself out of my sadness for loosing her, but I felt happy for her because she was where she wanted to be: Free!!

Now I wonder how she is doing. Is she doing fine and building a new life in a new place? Did she find what she was looking for? I hope so!! I still love her and think of her from time to time, and tears come to my eyes when I remember her.

It’ll be so nice to hear from her and learn about her new life in her new place, and hopefully learning that she is doing great and feeling happy, maybe with a lover that is good and can be all to her. That would fill my heart with happiness for my sweet dancing ghost!!

I’ve searched in my brain again and again trying to see if the life lines will cross in the future once more, and all I can find is a blurry image of her line that I really don’t know if it’s real or just my desires. So all I can do is to wait and hope that someday will see each other again.



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