Posted by Raul on May 31, 2011
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
I was standing at the bus stop, waiting for my wife who was coming from I don’t remember where.
The old woman came to me. She was short and clearly overweight; wearing plenty of make-up and a short dress that attempted to make her look sexy, yet the intention wasn’t achieved.
“Do you want some action?” She said to me, and it took me a couple of seconds to realize what the proposal was.
“I’m waiting for my wife”
“But in the meantime…we can go there” She pointed to an old house around the corner. There were several women like her, some in a window, others standing in the street, waving hands to males passing by.
“She is pregnant; I have to be here to help her”
“How long is she pregnant?”
“Six months”
“So you have been without a woman for a while”
“I’ll wait for her” I tried to give her my best smile.
She looked at me for a moment without saying another word. There was strangeness in her eyes, and I believe some sadness in her face.
She looked at me for a while without saying another word, then, with sad eyes and a very low voice tone she said: “Don’t go there, they might rob you” pointing to the other women; and without another word she turned around and left, walking in a slow pace in the direction of the old house.
Sadness came to me at that moment, feeling for maybe loneliness in that old woman, working the days for some money. I have never been able to forget those sad eyes and the tired walk of a woman that seemed to find herself in the wrong place of life.
Raul
Posted by Raul on March 17, 2011
Going to the movies used to be something very special; the anticipation for an activity that wasn’t common but just a couple of times a year. The feeling of going to that magical, enclosed big room with what seemed hundred of seats, high wall decorated with old, dark red curtains and some dusty wooden decorations. The long, worn carpet that led us to the seats facing the white screen where some magical world will appear, and would let us live some different life and travel to a distant place for about two hours.
But there was also the other part of the trip; the possibility of stopping by a coffee shop after the movie and have a glass of soda and maybe a piece of cake, pineapple by preference. The small, rectangular, metallic table with a plastic tablecloth in red and white squares; the view thru the windows, watching passers by in their unknown activities for us; looking at their grey faces and dark clothing; their fast paced walk and their anonymity to each other, always dancing with sudden movements to avoid physical contact with each other in their travels by the crowded streets.
There was no need for words…there was so much to see!
The whole world and life became silent and slow moving, so it was easy to stop for a moment and watch the surroundings, the people, the physical things that conformed and created the city, society and of being part of life in itself.
Going to the movies was a moment when daily life stopped for a moment and magic became reality. It was the opportunity to step aside of my own life and self; to have the chance to see the world around with different eyes and what was always there, but never seen from that perspective. It was the opportunity to stop participating of society to become a spectator of life.
Then the trip back home, just like the one at the beginning, waiting for the bus at the stop in a dirty street. Watching the people around, up to their faces marked with worries of daily life and infinite activities; perhaps the ghosts of their future that had to be crafted day by day, and I was apart, traveling in time at the moment, aside of life, even my own.
Seating and holding the metallic rail in front at the worn out bus seat, listening to the infinite sounds made by a tired machine that spent an entire life running and still haven’t got the chance to retire and rest. The wind coming through the window that couldn’t be closed, making the noise that combined with the singer at the end of the corridor of the bus, playing an acoustic guitar with a colored cloth tied to it and some strange sticker close to the cords, with a meaning that probably only he would know and understand.
Houses, stores and empty, dirty lots went by behind other cars, competing in speed with the wooden and concrete poles that remained standing by the side of the street, providing the hold of the electric net of the city. Some graffiti in the walls, sharing space with the posters of some candidate to some political group…adult stuff!
Perhaps the best home work I ever got!
There’ll be days and weeks to remember the trip, the bus, the movie theater, the people seen from a different perspective, as a spectator of life instead of a participant. And the movie itself, whatever the story; the places and time where the story told by the white screen seemed to happen…so much to remember and analyze!
Sometimes living life doesn’t seem to be part of life, but when being a child and taken to the movies, I had the chance to step aside of it all for a brief moment and enjoy the magic of the movie, together with the magic of life and people, by watching from a distance to compare both, at the same time of taking a break of being alive.
Raul
Posted by Raul on December 23, 2010
She had a smile and bright eyes when walking the trail by my side. We didn’t know where we would end up…we just walked the trail with a faint idea of the journey, and some vague plans for the next steps and the days ahead.
The warm breeze of December in the south hemisphere gave the hopes for the unknown, while the holding hands the reassurance for the times to come.
But winter is always ahead, and although we did know, we kept the smile while feeling the breeze in our young faces, walking the path together to the horizon always farther away on the road.
And winter did come.
Then the trail turned from the colored flowers all around to the brownish land of sadness at fall; and the sun changed to a reddish color for the winter and snow ahead. So the walking became hard with the cold wind in the face and the snow on the ground; feeling how the warm days of summer went away to be replaced by the harsh times of the season that had to be gone through.
Did we have to? And the thoughts of going back the trail to the beginning started to take home. Yet the long distance already traveled and the thoughts of going back cold, tired and sad through the same place that was walked warm and with a smile before…
The beginning of the trail and the horizon at the other end, they both seemed the same. We where standing there, trying to find a reason to keep going.
Then the little bird…the unimaginable find in the middle of nowhere; almost buried in the snow, looking at us, waiting to take it with us in our journey; to protect it and grow it as our treasure for the years to come.
So one hand holding the little bird while another found the excuse to touch the now stranger other hand once again. The excuse of the little bird; the responsibility of taking care of it; helping it grow as a given task; while walking the path to nowhere; to the setting sun.
And the little bird did grow!
Protecting it with our cold hands, together from the wind and the snow, just to find later we couldn’t let it go. The growing little bird became the element that held us together while walking the trail without aim, hoping for the warm sun to come back once again in the sky.
Stopping for a moment to look back and find the long trail walked now, and the horizon at the other end, with the promise of spring ahead and warmer days to keep going in the journey started so long ago.
And while the little bird has grown and trying its wings to fly on its own, the sun of spring announces its return and the colored flowers make the promise of a wonderful path to walk once more.
So now the thoughts of letting the once little bird fly on its own, give us the memories of the times when we started this trail so long ago. The two of us, knowing now there’ll be a bird flying somewhere; happily finding his own path and flying through the seasons of life and the fields of love.
While we, confused by the changes ahead, continue to walk this trail, looking at the horizon, knowing spring is coming with its colored flowers in the field, to be followed by the warm breeze of summer, to be back at the beginning while reaching the end of the road.
Raul
Posted by Raul on October 7, 2010
She came walking down the hall with the baby in her arms all covered with a grey blanket, she wasn’t smiling or looking at the baby as anybody would expect, and after reaching the visitors area where I was waiting, she proceeded to give me the baby with a cold look like saying; “you are the bad man who made suffer so much that poor woman…here’s your crime!”
I received the baby from the nurse’s arms and with the anticipation of his five days of life in which I wasn’t allowed to see him, I proceeded to carefully remove a little bit of the covers to take a long wanted look at my son. I couldn’t distinguish much and only was able to see a dark creature that was gently moving and making a slight noise that reminded me of a little cat, so my first impression and though was to call him that way: “Black Cat”
It was an amazing experience to see that small human being quietly sleeping, completely unaware of the world, life and his own path in front of him.
Several times looking at him and thinking of the giant task given.
A human being just arrived; no memories but a blank space ready to receive the information his parents will give him in his first years and that will become the basic program that will allow him to start his first steps in life and the road that will be his for the years to come.
No physical capabilities to stand, walk or even manipulate things that will allow him to survive on his own. If I gently leave him on the floor and walk away he would die after a couple of days.
Memories and knowledge to be recorded; love to be given in a way he can receive it without any previous experience, together with the expected nurturing of a growing body.
So many elements to take care of and make sure it is done right, so not to misguide the life and the future of a just arrived human being!
And no “Owner’s Manual” Just the infinite number of opinions and experiences of so many well intentioned people that wanted to help, but also wanted to apply the same recipe for every baby, with complete disregard of genetic characteristics, actual environment and preferred, alternative futures.
But then the intrinsic sweetness and beauty of a baby that knows nothing about the world he is in. Feeling his abandon while sleeping in my arms, like knowing that I was there for him, to protect him, to make sure he will be alright.
And then, after just a couple of months, his smile and arms flapping, like a small bird trying to fly, calling the attention of his parents to get in their arms so to travel and look around what must have been the giant world of the apartment we where living in.
-Almost 5 months!
And sometimes for us the desperate feelings of not knowing the reason for a baby crying, just to find a couple minutes later it was an empty stomach taking over the basic programming…the instincts.
Survival of the fullest! 
So many beautiful memories of a time long gone, to the point today where we share the electric shaver, exchange tennis shoes and T shirts, but also we still share the cookie jar and years old jokes.
It is amazing that once a child needed all the help and teaching and now he has become the teacher in many aspects. Even to write posts in this blog I get lots of ideas and a better understanding of others by the conversations we have about history and politics, subjects he has a great deal of knowledge about (he’s in his senior year of History and Political Science)
It’s been a wild ride with so many mistakes and so many successes, many moments of laughter, worries and continuous thinking on how are we doing and how can we improve it.
Now I see him with his own thoughts, feelings and dreams; his own knowledge and plans for the future and I can’t forget the little baby that came to visit us and stayed around for so many years, bringing with him an entire new perception and way of life, to become quickly and forever a part of us in our hearts…
Raul
-Almost 20 years! And playing “Captain Morgan”
Posted by Raul on September 20, 2010
There have been many inventions throughout time that we can classify as very important or useful in our lives, many creations that have helped us in achieving things or simplify our everyday tasks.
One of my personal favorites is the bicycle!
Even though I wasn’t an “all the time” rider, I did have my share of bicycles in my younger years in the past Millennium (yeah, I’m that old!) and I can remember brief images of happiness while pedaling around the block and trying things with my trusted bicycle of the moment.
It is my opinion there is no other transportation device that allows us to enjoy and experience the surroundings while traveling better than a bicycle. We can feel the breeze and the wind; we can hear every sound around and smell every scent that happens to be in the area we are going through.
About twenty five years ago I read in a newspaper the news about a man who wanted to travel and see the world, so he said goodbye to his girlfriend and took his bicycle to travel almost all around the planet, which took him twenty years! When he finished his trip he went back to find his girlfriend was still waiting for him, so they got married
At one hand, talk about waiting for a loved one! But at the other, what an experience it must have been! All the sights, all the feelings, all the memories…I would love to do something like that, but I’m not that crazy! (No, I won’t do it)
Such a simple machine that works as an “energy multiplier”
With the same energy used for walking five miles we can travel fifteen miles, thanks to the bicycle. We also can transport more packages than we could when just holding them in our hands.
I’m not talking here about the “green” aspect of a bicycle, which is very important nowadays indeed, but if you consider that a bicycle doesn’t need fuel, oil, heavy maintenance, registration, insurance, etc, there are so many elements, expenses and work we can save ourselves from when riding a bicycle instead of a car, or even a motorcycle or a scooter.
So for these reasons a bicycle represents freedom to move and explore, without having to carry too many tools or spare parts and without being dependant on finding supplies and fuel on the road.
“The bicycle will rule in apocalyptic times!” (Just kidding)
But maybe is mostly a thing for older generations.
My son is not a bicycle rider; he is just not interested and rather prefers to ride the bus when going back and forth to college, so he can relax and listen to history podcasts in his ipod. I think is a great thing though, so he is using the transportation time in a way of acquiring more knowledge…a practical way to use time.
But for the older generations the bicycle was more about enjoying the moment than using it wisely, I must admit (at least in my case)
So when I have the time and some energy left, I like to jump over my bicycle and have a short trip around in the area where I live, just to revive those memories of a child pedaling with energy against the wind; having a reddish face with the heat and a big smile that reflected a being enjoying the surroundings, the views, the breeze and the sights; enjoying the moment, the now, in this amazing planet we have.
Raul
