Posted by Raul on April 4, 2011
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So tired, so sleepy! She couldn’t keep up for the long term ahead and instead simply felt asleep over the tasks that had to be completed. Tomorrow will be another day, she said to herself; tomorrow everything will look different and from a new perspective, when better rested.
The scent of the words printed below involved her, while she enjoyed her dreams of peaceful rest and final abandonment. Surrounded by the knowledge, the ideas and the projections that could be extracted from the scent, she rested completely unaware of the changes already happening inside her head.
All she read, all she imagined, all she thought, everything was already inside her head, moving, forming new shapes out of the original created at the time of insertion. Every new knowledge that found home in her brain was morphing into a new concept, at the time it found connection with whatever knowledge, thought or idea was to be found already there.
Dreams!
She rested, she dreamed, then she grew up a little more. Good night little one! Have a pleasant rest and a wonderful awakening! You’ll be a little bit different tomorrow!
Raul
Posted by Raul on March 28, 2011
They didn’t see the world together. They didn’t accomplish anything at all. They just happened to find each other in a day like any, and without even saying a word things seemed to click.
There was no time involved in their relationship, so maybe it couldn’t even be called as such; just a brief moment in time where they happened to be at the same place.
It was one of those things that cannot be explained…they were there, occupying the same place, without any specific activity or conversation. They didn’t talk, they didn’t touch, they didn’t look at each other’s eyes. They were just standing there, at the same place, at the same time.
Then the feelings of the surroundings suddenly changed. Like an abrupt temperature fluctuation or the appearance of a warm breeze. They felt it; they noticed something different around them, involving them.
Although nothing seemed to change in the outside around them, a warm, peaceful feeling inside took home in them both. The senses of loneliness they have been holding for a long time suddenly disappear. The sadness that makes part of a grey life without any special motivation was nowhere to be found.
Only a feeling of peace and satisfaction became their essence…happiness!
A peaceful irradiation from each one…that was created from the peaceful irradiation that came from the other…that was generated by the peaceful irradiation from the first: Automated self feeding of a circular feeding…complete autonomy from the external world!
It lasted for just a couple of seconds. After the initial feeling and the realization they were perceiving each other, without self and mutual intention, they simply walked away and on to resume their daily lives.
Nothing really changed afterwards. The same routine, the same feelings and the same kind of grey life, except now they knew they were more than independent, isolated beings. Now they knew they weren’t alone because they felt the connection with another being, even if they never completed any sort of communication.
From that day they knew…someone, somewhere, is there…and they are not alone!
Raul
Posted by Raul on December 20, 2010
It’s been a long time since visiting this old house. Maybe the memories are too many; maybe the sadness of the departure is too much, I don’t know.
We used to walk for hours talking about so many things; I holding his hand and jumping from time to time, hanging from the strong arm of the old man. Listening to the stories that came every time we walked down this path, to finally without fault, end up the trip in the old bench under the trees, to listen more amazing stories about every little object and creature that could be seen around.
Fall was the time to go visit for I don’t remember what reason. A child running over the accumulated leaves on the ground, and the smile of the old man intently watching, perhaps immersed in memories of his own childhood, gone long time ago.
The wind blowing leaves sometimes, and the cold air coming in everyday with more intensity, as fall made its grand entrance to the stage of life in that remote corner of the world.
Years later, coming back on my own, just to make a short visit to the old man and have a little chat close to the fireplace inside his home.
I remember the time I came with a big smile and a heart full of hopes, after receiving the white paper with golden letters that certified my graduation to the profession that should be the beginning of an exciting life ahead. I remember the serious look in his eyes while reading the piece of paper, then the hand shaking with some emotional eyes that reflected pride and support.
Standing from the big chair and walking to a closet at the other end of the room, to grab an old bottle of wine reserved for some special occasion. A drink by the fireplace, the feeling of being supported, the continuation of himself through the ways of the little one that wasn’t a child anymore, and could be considered another adult, worth of having a glass of wine with.
Then, years later, driving the old road to the old house, to introduce to the old man the new one, the fourth in line, the one just born a couple of months before. His tired hands holding the baby and looking at him with serious eyes, as analyzing the veracity of his existence, or perhaps the pride of seeing how life gave him another step in his long road, I don’t know.
By the time of the next visit strangers where there, violating the space and the property that used to be the old man’s life. Learning then that he was no more, that he was gone, to the eternal trip to become part of the universe, the whole; leaving a feeling of emptiness in those who remained behind.
Today I came back, to the house of a stranger, to walk the trails with tall trees giving the leaves away to cover the ground one more time before winter takes place. Walking the same path done so many times in the past, recalling so many memories of the time spent with the old man.
The bench is still there, but showing signs of not being used anymore, perhaps for a long time now, but standing strong as a monument to the memories that will never die. The place where the old man and I sat for hours to talk, creating that strong relationship that cannot be explained with words…
Posted by Raul on November 15, 2010
So thick, so strong! Not just to leave the same old behind, but even to keep moving in the same plane of nowhere to go.
Fighting, pulling; using every muscle with every ounce of energy left, if any; just to be back at the original point, only tired and disillusioned.
Resting for a minute; collecting breath once more; thinking, planning, deciding; gathering energy and creating a new triggering moment to give still another try; another attempt at the perfect escape; the precise set of planned movements that will give the so desired freedom from that ugly, sticky mud.
While clouds go by, while the sun keeps moving around in the sky, and the eternally walked clock that leaves just the round and round trail to follow for eternity.
Then the changes in mind: Another attempt but using a different approach. Does the planned strategy work? Why not just raw force?
So the collected energy once more; the triggered moment; heart and mind together, concentrated at a single point…jump!
———-
Seating in that favorite chair by the porch, sipping a cold drink while watching the clouds go by; enjoying the view and the warm autumn breeze; remembering those crazy younger years of dreams and desires, so long left behind.
Time to appreciate the real meanings of life and the most important parts of it all, with wisdom acquired by the final appreciation of the sticky mud. Like a rusted ship sunk by the beach, that finally becomes a proud monument on its own.
Posted by Raul on October 28, 2010
Dark clouds will come to stay and it’ll rain everyday
A chilly breeze will take home and remain
Birds will lower their voices and no singing will be heard again
And all the material toys will become stone and collect dust as their only purpose
And home will become a box
And sunshine just a memory
And laughter will migrate to an unknown place
And the sense of reality will fade
And every road will loose its end
A dark, silent creature standing in the middle of nowhere
Surrounded by an unseen, vibrant, alive world
Haunted by memories and feelings
But only tears will flourish
And a long forgotten smile will stay away
From one reality to another
Like an instant travel between two different worlds
So lost, so confused!
After you die…
