Posted by Raul on August 12, 2010
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When you are in pain, confused, lost, or simply bored, go to God Google.
When you need to receive advice, directions, information or amusement, go to God Google.
Even if you have sexual desire to satisfy God Google will give you the information and connections you need to get the relief you seek.
Our new God Google is here to help us, protect us, guide us and even entertain us without imposing rules or commandments.
Do you remember the times before God Google?
You had to go all the way to the library for information; you had to ask around to countless people just to get a vague answer to your queries; you had to read books, newspapers and magazines to see if your specific question would be answered in one of those pages.
You had to invest so much time and effort to satisfy your needs of information or curiosity.
You had to go through so many tribulations in order to reach the desired wisdom of such information.
But no more!
God Google is here for us.
Forget all the previous gods taught by the older generations that gave you just the possibility to pray but no instant answer.
With God Google you get not only the answer to your questions in about 1.35 seconds, but you get alternatives to go thru if the first answer doesn’t satisfy you.
So don’t forget to pay your Monthly Contribution (bill) to your Chosen Church (internet provider company) so you can be connected to your God Google.
Fight for your God Google! Defend It from anything and anyone that try to destroy It.
There are countless Evil Search Engines that will try to tempt you into the wrong ways, so be on guard, become a Saint Soldier that’s willing to surrender his/her life to defend and protect our new God Google.
God Google is good and doesn’t try to be the only one for you and take your total attention making you forget about your own personality.
No matter what religion, belief or concept you have, God Google will let you connect with those personal beliefs because God Google is Mighty and Magnanimous and doesn’t need to capture and retain all your attention so to keep you under It’s only light and darkness around.
God Google knows that whatever your beliefs are now, you will recognize and accept It’s Mighty so doesn’t need to create Holly Wars to retain you.
What would it be to go back to the Dark Times before God Google?
Recognize that you’ll be lost if from this moment you loose the connection with God Google.
You wouldn’t know what to do or where to start when in need of information.
You’ll be lost in the dark, trying to remember how to live and do things in the very inefficient way it used to be.
Time has come to change the saying to: “Oh my Google!”
We live in the Information Era so the Information God is here!
Kneel in front of our new God Google!
Father Raul
Posted by Raul on August 9, 2010
Guest posts seems to be the way to go these days, so to not get behind, I asked my good friend Mr. Rabbit to write something for this blog. Please let’s give a nice welcome to Mr. Rabbit.
Thank you, thank you! I’m happy to be here today and have the opportunity to talk about some issues that might not be considered as they should.
As Raul has mentioned before in another post, the exponential growth in housing for the past several years in the area where he works and I live, the rabbit population has experienced an out of control growth that creates a problem.
ROLE REVERSAL
With the past construction boom that lead to indiscriminate housing expansion for the past ten years, the natural habitat of rabbits, foxes, coyotes and wolves have been completely transformed into fancy neighborhoods occupied by big houses, expensive cars and well cared lawns.
Because of this, foxes, coyotes and wolves have suffered the indignity of being expelled from their natural habitat and rabbits, being such small and silent creatures, had the opportunity of uncontrolled multiplication since just a small, thick bush will provide enough shelter from weather and now the inexistent natural depredators.
At the other hand, many people, after experiencing a comfortable financial situation, have moved to these new areas of fancy houses that attempt to resemble the place for the “Rich and Famous”, but with the economic fall and the imposed burden by the reduction in jobs and salaries, these same people have found themselves in the position of having to literally abandon their dream homes to go back to their already forgotten original financial and social situation or simply remain with the remote hopes that things will improve in the future, but forced to survive in the meantime in a precarious financial situation.
The result is by now we have people who are scared of their future while rabbits seem to be loosing the old fear to human beings. Because of this situation, rabbits have taken the streets to spend their time mostly loitering with complete abandonment of careful planning and continuous precautions about what the dangers are for their particular specie.
At the other hand, people seems to be scared of even venturing outside their homes by the continuous fear of finding themselves in the presence of a neighbor that might ask them “How are you doing” and not having a good answer to such terrible question.
So it seems roles, slowly but surely, have started to invert between people and rabbits and now we have fancy neighborhoods with scared people and pretentious rabbits that have started deadly games among them like running in front and across of a passing car as to prove their might. Sadly, the rate of successful attempts is just of 15 % (squash!)
Because of these situations, rabbits show signs of urgent psychological help to prevent these suicidal games that, not only are changing their natural behavior, but also generate the destruction of fancy make up work by the ladies driving sport utilities that cannot help but make a face of disgust (eww!)
It becomes imperative then that the proper roles assigned by Mother Nature to its creatures be restored, so we can have people that don’t live in fear and rabbits that recover their natural survival instinct as the way it should be.
Thank you for your time.
Mr Rabbit
Mr. Rabbit works as a counselor and therapist for highly stressed rabbits that require assistance in adapting to a fast changing world. Right now he is in the process of starting a blog to document his discoveries in the field of rabbit psychology, as soon as he can get around the problem of typing without fingers; for that reason no email address is available at this time.
To contact Mr. Rabbit please send written letters to: Bush #7, West Side Park, Centennial, CO. 80016
Posted by Raul on August 5, 2010
Just for the fun of it!
Have you felt sometimes like something is wrong about life? Like things are out of place? Not in the way they should be? Well, I discovered the problem!
We are born the wrong way! We should be born old people and die as a baby.
Let me explain:
We should be born as an old person, with all the experience and knowledge of a lifetime accumulated, having a pension already so parents wont have to worry about our sustenance.
With that experience and knowledge, we would know exactly what we want from life and what to do with it, so there’ll be no wasting time learning and searching for “what to do with ourselves”
As time goes by we would grow stronger so accomplishing the required tasks to achieve our dreams would be easier and easier.
After the first ten years of our lives we would be already in the right track to reach our biggest accomplishments and become famous and filthy rich.
As time keeps going by we will become younger, stronger and handsome, plus the already earned fame and riches, so we would be able to enjoy all that fame and money in a young, strong body and simply blow out all our riches in parties, drugs and fun.
By the end of our lives we would be cute, little babies and our parents will take care of us (no need for nursing homes) and at the moment of our death everybody would cry from their hearts (who doesn’t lament the departure of a cute baby?)
So there you have it! We are born the wrong way and that’s why things seem to be upside down in this life.
Just kidding! 
Raul
Posted by Raul on May 21, 2010
It seems funny when you think of it in this crazy way.
A woman gets into a love relationship as a fisherman with a fishing pole: She sets the bait (beautiful clothing, make up, smiles and soft talking), then sends the bait flying to get close to the fish (approach the man with that fancy walking and irresistible smile), then moves the bait around to tease the fish (sweet kisses while hanging from the man’s neck), then do the strong pull that will hook the fish (get the signed legal document), to finally pull the string and retrieve the fish out of the water to take complete possession of it (start setting the conditions of housing, transportation and general way of life requirements).
A man gets into a love relationship as a hungry wolf on hunting night: He roams the land looking around for every possible prey (walking with confidence and a big smile while checking out body shapes), then gets close to the prey ready to attack (looking straight into the girl’s eyes while talking with the property of a successful business man), then jump over the prey to get firm hold of it (invite her to a fancy dinner for more big talking), to finally drag the prey to a secluded area to feast (motel room).
She was fishing while he was hunting. Mutual entrapment! And sometimes nine months later you get the witness.
Just kidding!
Posted by Raul on December 21, 2009
His hand moved quickly to reach for the pen and accidentally in the process touched the cup of coffee on the side, at the edge of the table. Some of the coffee was spilled and the cup started to fall to the kitchen floor.
A fraction of a second!
-He saw the cup, the shape, the colors, the image engraved in it.
-The moment when he opened the gift and found inside the cup.
-Her smile while looking at him expecting his approval for the gift.
-Giving her a hug and a kiss to thank her for the gift.
-Trying the new cup with some fresh brewed coffee.
-Holding the cup while enjoying the aroma.
-Spending some time looking at the cup and the engraved picture in it.
-Smiling at her to let her know that he liked the gift.
-Carefully washing the cup after using it for the first time.
-Finding a preferred spot for the cup in the kitchen.
-Using the cup for some coffee to relax after they had a fight.
-Looking at the cup and remembering so many good moments together.
-Taking the cup with him in that business trip so to have something from her.
-Getting mad when wanted a coffee in his cup and found it with something else in the refrigerator.
-He smiled in his mind!
-His surprise when in that road trip she served him coffee from the thermo in his cup.
-When did she put the cup in the baggage?
-Looking for the cup at the hotel room before leaving.
-Suspecting of someone taking it without permission.
-Finding it in the bathroom where he forgot to bring it back.
-Accustomed to see the cup in the preferred spot in the kitchen.
The cup touched the floor and instantly went into a thousand pieces that spread all over the kitchen. He remained there for a couple of seconds looking at the mess on the floor before letting some bad words out and standing from the chair to pick up the broken cup and clean up the mess.
