Human psychology is amazing! The way we behave and the belief we have sometimes have nothing to do with reality, but just our own perception and belief we carry within ourselves.
In reality, by observing our surroundings and other people’s reactions, we collect data to prove our already existent beliefs, rather than to form new beliefs according to what is really happening around us. For example, if we believe we are clumsy, we don’t observe other people’s reaction to our doings to see if they consider us clumsy, but rather we observe and find those clues that show us people really think we are clumsy. This way, instead of learning the truth of reality, we just confirm our existing thoughts. We don’t learn anything new!
So people who have a low self esteem remain with their low self esteem, while those who feel they are amazing remain with the same self opinion, and both find elements around to confirm their existent thoughts, so both remain the same, independently of what people really think of them.
Have you found someone who seem so self assured? Someone who seem to feel he is an amazing guy, handsome and fun to be around? And no matter what happen or what people say around, they always jump back to keep feeling the way they felt before. They are not observing and interacting with their surroundings and learning what other might think of them; they take clues on what is happening, only to reinforce their existing beliefs about themselves.
And the same happens with people with a low self esteem. They find clues to support their existing beliefs, rather than taking in what people around might really think of them, so no matter what others might say to them, especially when trying to lift their self opinion, they remain with the same poor opinion of themselves.
If people would observe their surroundings and learn what others really think and believe of them, there would be a lot less people with low self esteem, and a lot less people with unsupported and unreasonable high self esteem.
The way the human brain works is just amazing!