I don’t know if the problem is something wrong with my brain, or if it is part of being an Aspie, but from time to time I simply get high out of nothing.
I always thought it might have been just being tired; then, after I started taking Seredyn to control anxiety I thought that maybe those pills were getting me high some times; but when I realized that some of the times I get high I didn’t take anything and I wasn’t really tired, I started to think that maybe it is the brain falling into a certain “mode” for a moment.
What happens is that some times, especially at work, like without a reason I start getting high like if I had taken some sort of drugs. Everything that moves start to move slowly; the sounds I hear become fused all together; no matter what kind of music is in the radio, even if it is something I normally don’t like, becomes nice and sweet; whatever happens is fine, and I feel so relaxed in my mind while my body feels so comfortable, with a very nice sort of tingling all throughout. Temperature is perfect and clothing doesn’t bother anymore in my skin. I can’t deny I love it!
Obviously I know it is also sort of dangerous; especially when working with machinery; so I pay special attention to everything around and at whatever I’m doing; trying to analyze my movements and the possible consequences out of them. I work and walk slowly, with premeditated movement and verifying the results of those movements, to confirm that the initial intention was achieved without side consequences, like dropping something while trying to grab it.
It is such a wonderful moment out of nothing, that I simply don’t fight it but rather enjoy it for whatever amount of time it might last; which usually is about thirty minutes. After that my senses become normal again; movements around become of the right speed; I can distinguish sounds again and they start to create sensory overload once more, and music not necessarily is of my taste. My body feels the discomfort of fabric rubbing against my skin; temperature becomes higher or lower of what would be comfortable, and people around become human once more! (Sigh).
Now, as I mentioned, it comes out of nothing and without warning, but I embrace it without a fight since it is such a wonderful moment. The only times I can sort of artificially re-create those moments is when being extremely stressed that I need more than a relaxing pill, but rather a chemical punch to my brain to relax it from an over stressing situation.
In those cases, instead of just taking a capsule of Seredyn, I do take a capsule, but also add the content of another capsule at once (I just separate the two halves of a capsule and swallow the content, so instead of extended release I get the whole thing to act at once for a sort of “emergency” relaxation).
It does work great and in about five minutes, from being really stressed with whatever situation, I jump to a state of “not giving a damn”; but still it’s different from the high state I fall into for like no reason.
I can only conclude that probably my brain turns by itself to work in a similar way that’s forced when consuming drugs (which I don’t use), and for as long as it’s enjoyable without dangers I plan to let it happen without fighting it.
Crazy isn’t it?