I don’t know where I got this picture, but every time I see it reminds me of what parenthood has been for me!
Originally I didn’t want to have kids…ever! Since my relationship with my parents didn’t go very well, I grew up with the learned concept that kids are just a big problem, and the best that can happens when they come along uninvited was to hope for a quick growing up, so they will leave and parents will finally have a life, rest and joy.
My son did come “uninvited” (like most babies), but I remember a depressive state that lasted probably no more than 24 hrs. From then it has been all wonderful! He always seemed to be in the best age and we have enjoyed his presence all his life.
The joy of a little baby; when he started to walk; watching Barney the Dinosaur when he was about 5; competing reading Animorphs when he was 12; watching Star Wars together when he was 16; Talking about history when he was in his 20’s; now talking about society and human behavior while he is 24. Every stage in his growing process has been amazing, and little by little he has gone from son to friend. How many more wonderful times we’ll have as the years go by!
I still don’t understand why some parents want to push their kids out when they reach 18. I do understand that some times you learn faster how to survive in society by just jumping into the waters, but when we see that many times kids get limited in what they can do to have a better life because they have to take responsibilities like paying rent and bills, I just don’t get it!
At my work, many of my co-workers are young people in their 20’s, and I see them struggling to pay rent and bills, while at the same time try to pay for college, and trying to make time for classes and homework while having a full time job. Most of them end up quitting school after the first year!
Not only that, but when the only guidance they have is their friends their same age, mostly they learn how to spend in newer cars, latest movies and fancier cell phones, failing to see by this way how their lives will be in ten to twenty years in the future.
With this I see that some of this “kids” end up having babies after partying, and then there is no intention of taking responsibility for their own children. History repeats itself, but in a worst way.
At the other hand, there is so much fun spending time with my son, talking about so many things and sharing his and our projects and dreams.
Maybe I’m too old, or maybe too idealistic or naïve, but I don’t understand the concept of “time to depart” with our children, especially when in my concepts the most important part in life is not the material but the sentimental. Many of the things related to the material can be learned later when needed, but the feelings of pertaining, family love, company, support and understanding cannot be recovered later. You can learn to drive later in life when you need it, but can’t have the feelings and memories of being loved in your childhood and young years when those times are already gone!
What do you think? If you agree with the departing system, would you explain me the concept?