A statue that moves, walk around, and some times even talk; granite face that learned long ago that some movements must be made in order to reflect and support the words just said by a slight twitch of the nose, a movement from the lips, or a frown. Gestures from the hands and arms that follow the words as if coloring them to enhance their intensity and provide a deeper meaning of what the words alone can carry.
No, no…I cannot have my hands in my pockets and talk in a single, flat tone, while keeping my face static by considering that just the meaning of the words would be enough to communicate the thought dancing in my head. The intensity of my feelings are fine inside me, and those feelings can be expressed to the outside world with words alone that together explain and draw the feeling itself, and that is fine for me, but not for them!
They need the whole orchestra playing at the same time since they don’t go by just the meaning of the words. Some times the meaning of the words is not even real but the whole play what gives the real thought or idea transmitted in what is too simplistically called a talk.
It is so difficult to understand why if we have a language with words carrying specific meanings, and rules to organize those words in a coherent phrase that will easier and clearly transmit a thought, we have to learn to use the whole orchestration of hands and arm gestures, complete body language and face configurations in order to “properly” communicate something that could be easily interpreted by the specific meaning of words, without the possibility of misinterpretation by the forced task of having to read so many elements that haven’t been really classified and taught to be used as part of the communication system among humans, and that each one learns on his/her own, creating with it the strong possibility of misinterpretations.
In that sense, it is such a marvel a written language where the reader is “forced” to go by the meaning of the words alone and only a second, subjective meaning can be added by the context of the phrase, but in the writing process can still be under control. There are a lot less possibilities of misinterpretations due to the wrong reading of faces, gestures and general body language since all those simply don’t exist. No wonder why I love to write but hate to talk!
It becomes even funny when you think of it: I cannot read the whole orchestration of sounds and movements that are part of the meaning in their communication beside the words, since I go by the meaning of the words and for me the rest is just “static noise”, so many times I get the wrong interpretation of what they said; and they have no orchestration to read from my expressionless face and voice tone, which they clearly need in order to find an interpretation to my words, other than the straight meaning carried by them. No wonder why we aspies feel so identified with the expression: “Wrong Planet”.
It is not in the intention of obtaining sympathy but simply a description of the situation. When you analyze the differences in the ways and requirements for communication between Aspies and NT’s (Neuro Typicals = normal people = You), it is clear that, even though the language might be the same, the way of communication is different, and with it creates a separation of people (them and us), and since the majority of people are NT (normal), and this society and civilization is run by them, we aspies tend to feel out of place.
Our way of communication is not yet accepted but instead we suppose to do therapy to learn how to communicate in a “normal” way, which creates a feeling of alienation in us. From people’s perspective they are right, but from our perspective they are wrong. Why should we talk? In another post I’ll explain you why small talk and most of the ways of socialization just don’t make any sense for us.
In the mean time, and until a common ground of understanding is achieved, the feeling remains: There must be another place where the norm is how we communicate! We were born in the wrong planet!
“My apologies…I just landed in the wrong planet. Now…If I knew how to leave”!
Come on Spock…take me home please! LOL