Aspie World 4 – Wrong Planet

2013-04-03  Aspie World 4 - Wrong Planet

A statue that moves, walk around, and some times even talk; granite face that learned long ago that some movements must be made in order to reflect and support the words just said by a slight twitch of the nose, a movement from the lips, or a frown. Gestures from the hands and arms that follow the words as if coloring them to enhance their intensity and provide a deeper meaning of what the words alone can carry.

No, no…I cannot have my hands in my pockets and talk in a single, flat tone, while keeping my face static by considering that just the meaning of the words would be enough to communicate the thought dancing in my head. The intensity of my feelings are fine inside me, and those feelings can be expressed to the outside world with words alone that together explain and draw the feeling itself, and that is fine for me, but not for them!

They need the whole orchestra playing at the same time since they don’t go by just the meaning of the words. Some times the meaning of the words is not even real but the whole play what gives the real thought or idea transmitted in what is too simplistically called a talk.

It is so difficult to understand why if we have a language with words carrying specific meanings, and rules to organize those words in a coherent phrase that will easier and clearly transmit a thought, we have to learn to use the whole orchestration of hands and arm gestures, complete body language and face configurations in order to “properly” communicate something that could be easily interpreted by the specific meaning of words, without the possibility of misinterpretation by the forced task of having to read so many elements that haven’t been really classified and taught to be used as part of the communication system among humans, and that each one learns on his/her own, creating with it the strong possibility of misinterpretations.

In that sense, it is such a marvel a written language where the reader is “forced” to go by the meaning of the words alone and only a second, subjective meaning can be added by the context of the phrase, but in the writing process can still be under control. There are a lot less possibilities of misinterpretations due to the wrong reading of faces, gestures and general body language since all those simply don’t exist. No wonder why I love to write but hate to talk!

It becomes even funny when you think of it: I cannot read the whole orchestration of sounds and movements that are part of the meaning in their communication beside the words, since I go by the meaning of the words and for me the rest is just “static noise”, so many times I get the wrong interpretation of what they said; and they have no orchestration to read from my expressionless face and voice tone, which they clearly need in order to find an interpretation to my words, other than the straight meaning carried by them. No wonder why we aspies feel so identified with the expression: “Wrong Planet”.

It is not in the intention of obtaining sympathy but simply a description of the situation. When you analyze the differences in the ways and requirements for communication between Aspies and NT’s (Neuro Typicals = normal people = You), it is clear that, even though the language might be the same, the way of communication is different, and with it creates a separation of people (them and us), and since the majority of people are NT (normal), and this society and civilization is run by them, we aspies tend to feel out of place.

Our way of communication is not yet accepted but instead we suppose to do therapy to learn how to communicate in a “normal” way, which creates a feeling of alienation in us. From people’s perspective they are right, but from our perspective they are wrong. Why should we talk? In another post I’ll explain you why small talk and most of the ways of socialization just don’t make any sense for us.

In the mean time, and until a common ground of understanding is achieved, the feeling remains: There must be another place where the norm is how we communicate! We were born in the wrong planet!

“My apologies…I just landed in the wrong planet. Now…If I knew how to leave”!

Come on Spock…take me home please! LOL :)

Raul
(Alien Ghost)

 

 

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6 Responses to Aspie World 4 – Wrong Planet

  1. Patricia says:

    I think the communication experiences of which you speak are emerging. My friend with 2 adult children with autism has just started a book group for one and a cooking group for the other. I help work on the questions to develop discussions. The groups are both of less severe folks. It is helping for a community building

    I just read an essay about a how one family feels it is a blessing and has helped them all to be better communicators. Actually I wish more people would learn better communication skills!

    I have had to work more on the feelings of SHAME and GUILT I have about having a learning disability. And let me tell you being a partially brilliant woman in our world is not fun at all. People do not even try to pretend they hear you. I do better 1 on 1. Than in lectures and it takes me several rounds of teaching a course before I get a wait list for my classes.

    I am appreciating your writing very much. Thank you for sharing

    Raul Reply:

    Hi Patricia,

    Since Aspergers is part of the spectrum of autism, aspies are different from each other most of the time, depending in what part of the scale they are (the level of intensity of autism they have).

    I’m glad to hear there are people doing things for others and contributing to a better understanding of this whole thing. :)

    You’re right about being better 1 on 1, and definitely most people wouldn’t care, until their attention is called upon someone they know, which personally doesn’t give me any bad feelings since we all tend to do the same, aspies included.

    Raul

  2. Kelvin Kao says:

    These days, a lot of people are texting instead of talking on the phone. I wonder if it’s something that Aspies might prefer?

    You know what this actually reminds me of? Puppetry. In puppetry (and also cartooning), we sort of break it down. Like, if you move a certain feature this way, it indicates happiness. If you do it this other way, it’s sadness, etc. In that case, if you break it down like that, you are sort of using yourself as a puppet!
    Kelvin Kao´s last post ..Research Shows 63% of Puppeteers Double as Typewriter Salesmen in the 1870s

    Raul Reply:

    Hi Kelvin,

    I guess texting should be better that talking, but I don’t know since I don’t text, but yes it should be a lot easier.

    Puppets? Yes, that’s the feeling. Like treating oneself as a puppet so to comply with society.

    Raul
    Raul´s last post ..Aspie World 4 – Wrong Planet

  3. Sara says:

    Raul,

    What Kelvin said is interesting. Do you find it so?

    Is it easier for Aspies to talk to each other?

    I feel so dumb about I don’t know and sorry for the mistakes I may have made if I ran into someone who’s an Aspie and didn’t realize it. You’re right I would have thought the person different for not having the physical expressions I associate with communication.

    It’s good you’re writing this. Maybe if I do meet someone who doesn’t communicate with hands and facial gestures, I will stop and wonder if the person might be an Aspie…perhaps even change how I speak.

    Which brings up a question for you. Can you write about how NTs can communicate better with Aspie’s?
    Sara´s last post ..The teller’s lore of the cellar’s door

    Raul Reply:

    Hi Sara,

    I don’t know if for aspies is easier to talk to each other. My father has the characteristics and we could never communicate, and the only friend I had in my teenager years also seems to be an aspie.

    Thanks for the question; I’ll write about NTs can communicate with aspies, and how I believe it must feel for them based in my own experience :)

    Raul
    Raul´s last post ..Aspie World 4 – Wrong Planet

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