Bridges…I need bridges!
As I mentioned before, we aspies do like interacting with people, but we just don’t have the “software” required downloaded in our brains in order to do that. For that reason we do require what I consider (or at least visualize as) bridges from our minds to other people’s minds. While is a natural thing in normal people to have “highways” to reach others from their mind, we aspies are in a sort of “mind island”, where we can grow our internal world, but cannot connect with the outside, far away “mainland” of people minds (remember, Asperger’s Syndrome is a part of the Autism Spectrum).
While most people develop their own highways from their minds to the outside world from childhood, and increase them over time with natural interaction, we aspies require the help of outside people to create bridges from “their” minds to “our” island, so we can connect with them.
This help is as simple as starting a conversation with us, and taking charge in keeping continuity. With a big effort we can start a conversation, but most of the times we cannot keep it beyond a couple of phrases exchange, before we go back to mute for not knowing what else to say.
Another important point is that, since we don’t have practice in casual conversation, we have a strong tendency to talk very simple things that usually are sort of childish conversation for a normal person. Only when we get involved in a subject we know about, we can go longer and without much help in keeping up the conversation. Although in those cases usually we tend to talk too much and simply cannot read face expressions or subtle messages from the other person telling us they are not interested in the subject, or at least at that level of complexity, so we tend to become annoying to others, and in many cases people think we are arrogant or selfish.
So you know now; if you happen to be in the same room with an aspie that doesn’t participate, and you want to give him/her a hand, just start a conversation and keep it up by making question after question, without expecting a deep level conversation. For you it might be basic and boring, but for an aspie it’ll be nice and caring from your part, so you can consider it your good deed of the day. Thank you beforehand!