It’s been such a long time. More than a year!
It wasn’t my intention to stop posting, but a discovery about myself changed my perspective and purpose of writing in this blog.
As you know, reality depends on how our brain process the information collected by our senses. If the same information is processed in a different way, then reality is different, which translates into living in a different world from what other people live in.
In July 2011, after more than forty years trying to find an answer, I discovered that the weirdness of my thoughts in relation to the standard thinking of society is due to have a brain wired in a different way…the Asperger’s way. You see, I’ve always had the problem to relate to people and seen the world and society around in a different way that what seems to be the way most people do (Why Alien Ghost), but together with that problem, there has been always the thought of “fixing” such problems in some way. After discovering I’m an “Aspie”, the fact that nothing can be changed in my personal human nature sort of sent me into a depressive state. So I stopped writing in this blog due to not seeing a reason to present my perspective since it was based in a different reality from what normal people live in, and it took me several months just to come to terms with myself to find the internal balance required to be at peace with the fact of having Asperger.
I’ve spent most of my life trying to understand human nature as a way to find what have to be changed in order to be “normal”. It’s been so many years observing and analyzing people and society, together with analyzing myself, to establish the different lines of behavior, from which it should be possible to discover the common and the different points between them both, to finally create the line of procedures to follow, in order to achieve the wanted result of becoming “fused” in society, as we are taught from childhood we should be.
Finding that I have Aspergers became then sort of a relief at first, by finally having the so long searched explanation of why. But at the other hand, it also became frustrating when having to accept that no changes can be made to the way our brain is wired. So it’s been a long process of depression at first, followed by questioning, then by bitter resignation, to finally be able to find the “advantages” of having a brain wired in a different way.
Today I can feel happy with the way things are and, although I’ll never be able to be “normal”, I can enjoy other things that normal people not always can. One of those things is the weird unconscious writing that gives me so much fun to do, together with teaching me new things I didn’t know about me. You see, I’ve been writing, but not really consciously, just seating in front of the computer with the writing program open and typing whatever comes to mind. It’s been a way to relax and let bothering thoughts come out and play, leaving my mind alone for a moment to rest. And some very interesting things had happened out of that game! In future posts I’ll show you the results of that.
Based on that, I’ve come to the conclusion that I could still contribute something to people by the way of explaining how the mind of an Aspie works, and with it hoping to reduce the discrimination and prejudgment that exist about people with Asperger to be dumb. So this blog will not be about presenting a different perspective from another person, but rather presenting a different perspective due to be a person with a brain wired in a different way.
But for now just wanted to re-start this blog, mostly as a way to get the wheel moving again, and to collect some momentum that should support the continuity of the activity. In the following posts I’ll tell you about how an Aspie sees and feels the world, so normal people can have a better understanding of why the weirdness. -We just live in sort of a “parallel world”-
Thank you for stopping by and, see you soon!