It’s been with me for such a long time. So long that it seems it’s been forever.
At first I didn’t choose what kind of car it’ll be, it just happened to be there when I wanted one, and so it became part of my life. With a happy heart from my part we both started to roam the land together, without knowing what the future would be.
After so many years of trouble and continuous fixing to keep it rolling, it just became the way things are, without much thought about the practicality of that fortuity association, and even more, the logic behind the continuity of such association.
There was no reason to question why remaining the ownership when the absence of practicality was the norm. Maybe becoming accustomed to the same sight everyday; maybe the bothering thoughts of having to start from scratch at rebuilding and upgrading another one. This car runs good enough, even if it’s not what it’s really needed, so why bother with the restoration process in another car that has the desired characteristics.
But then, without the intention of searching or shopping around, after so many years, this other car showed up and presented many of the characteristics that seemed to be the ones originally desired.
Practicality is still absent, I must add and admit, yet the many different characteristics that make the personality of a car, and that are the ones that most appeal to my desires and needs, seem to be there.
It is not about the opportunity to switch cars, but rather the situation that, having appeared from nowhere, call the attention to the forgotten elements that create the deepest bonding that suppose to be the base in everything.
All the forgotten questioning that became buried in the past, to give way to a dull, numb driving of the already driven roads; and even more, defy the acceptance of continuity when the old questioning surface once again.
But then the doubts: What if, after going through the same long process of restoration, the impracticality still shows up in this other car? Wouldn’t that be changing everything just to get back to the same place? Why bother then?
At the other hand: Is it all these doubts because of fear to fall into the same situation after so much work? What if the different characteristics really make a big difference? Why not to give it a try?
Then again; is it proper to fail to the given word of continuity? And does such condition really exist? What about the roads that cannot be traveled because the actual car doesn’t adapt to the requirements of such roads? Should be a renounce to those roads the proper way of behavior? Or just a point of cowardice or social adaptation?
What a confusing situation!
To drive or not to drive! To restore again or maintain forever?
I can’t deny the excitement of just the thoughts of driving that other car in new, different roads; different to the normally traveled for so many years, once the restoration process is completed (if such thing exists!).
Maybe pondering the situation a little longer; maybe forgetting about it completely and just keep going as it has been for so long, to the point of becoming again “the way things are”
The eternal internal battle of logic and reason against feelings and intuition: Which one brings the permanent, or at least longer, state of internal harmony?
Why do we humans love to always create new problems to ourselves?!