Posted by Raul on October 25, 2010
What I Believe a Love Relationship Should Be
-What we could expect from a love relationship.
(What each one should do to accomplish the goal)
-Friendship: Someone with whom we can talk honestly, share our dreams and fears and find mutual, honest support. Someone with whom we can trust each other as the only one in the world that will never fail to help and be there for the other.
(Learning to give ourselves with honest interest and dedication; to become the “place to rest and recharge” for our loved one without any doubt of being safe, understood and supported; without criticism in the back, but honest talk with a genuine good intention instead)
-Commitment: Someone with whom we can build something together; sharing the loads and the benefits of any enterprise we together decided to pursue.
(Learning to play our cards for the other, and take any necessary risks involved without doubts and recriminations)
-Sexuality: Someone with whom we can share sex, sweet touch and the physical pleasures of the human body, without societal restrictions when we are the two of us alone.
(Learning that there’s a difference between public and private behavior and self expression, so being alone we don’t bring with us commonly accepted customs, but give ourselves openly and with care for the other’s needs and desires)
-Pride: Someone with whom we can feel proud of being with in front of others in any situation that arises.
(Learning to continually improve ourselves physically, mentally, knowledge, manners, etc, so to become a reason of pride to be with)
My guess is that most people would agree with these points; but how many of us are working continually in our part, mentioned in parenthesis?
To give love and to receive love there’s only one needed, but to keep love alive and growing, as for the existence of a relationship, there’s the need of two, and that implies the search is not only to find from who we can receive, but also to find to whom we can give and dedicate ourselves too.
It seems to me it is “established” that finding love is about to find from whom we will receive, but disregarded the part where we give, which implies working hard and continually self pushing to be the one for the other….too common to say “This is the way I am” instead of thinking “What else could I do?”
Continually working to be the kind of person our loved one need implies dedication and many times adaptation and even transformation.
As long as love remains considered a “commodity” that we acquire to have the same way we have a fancy car: to have fun with; to look good with; to know it’s there for us when we need it, but forgotten when we are in “our stuff”, we will never create a relationship that works both ways; and just like one day the car simply won’t start or die on us while on the road, our love relationship will be gone.
These are my conclusion from a “robotic” way of thinking