She came walking down the hall with the baby in her arms all covered with a grey blanket, she wasn’t smiling or looking at the baby as anybody would expect, and after reaching the visitors area where I was waiting, she proceeded to give me the baby with a cold look like saying; “you are the bad man who made suffer so much that poor woman…here’s your crime!”
I received the baby from the nurse’s arms and with the anticipation of his five days of life in which I wasn’t allowed to see him, I proceeded to carefully remove a little bit of the covers to take a long wanted look at my son. I couldn’t distinguish much and only was able to see a dark creature that was gently moving and making a slight noise that reminded me of a little cat, so my first impression and though was to call him that way: “Black Cat”
It was an amazing experience to see that small human being quietly sleeping, completely unaware of the world, life and his own path in front of him.
Several times looking at him and thinking of the giant task given.
A human being just arrived; no memories but a blank space ready to receive the information his parents will give him in his first years and that will become the basic program that will allow him to start his first steps in life and the road that will be his for the years to come.
No physical capabilities to stand, walk or even manipulate things that will allow him to survive on his own. If I gently leave him on the floor and walk away he would die after a couple of days.
Memories and knowledge to be recorded; love to be given in a way he can receive it without any previous experience, together with the expected nurturing of a growing body.
So many elements to take care of and make sure it is done right, so not to misguide the life and the future of a just arrived human being!
And no “Owner’s Manual” Just the infinite number of opinions and experiences of so many well intentioned people that wanted to help, but also wanted to apply the same recipe for every baby, with complete disregard of genetic characteristics, actual environment and preferred, alternative futures.
But then the intrinsic sweetness and beauty of a baby that knows nothing about the world he is in. Feeling his abandon while sleeping in my arms, like knowing that I was there for him, to protect him, to make sure he will be alright.
And then, after just a couple of months, his smile and arms flapping, like a small bird trying to fly, calling the attention of his parents to get in their arms so to travel and look around what must have been the giant world of the apartment we where living in.
And sometimes for us the desperate feelings of not knowing the reason for a baby crying, just to find a couple minutes later it was an empty stomach taking over the basic programming…the instincts.
Survival of the fullest!
So many beautiful memories of a time long gone, to the point today where we share the electric shaver, exchange tennis shoes and T shirts, but also we still share the cookie jar and years old jokes.
It is amazing that once a child needed all the help and teaching and now he has become the teacher in many aspects. Even to write posts in this blog I get lots of ideas and a better understanding of others by the conversations we have about history and politics, subjects he has a great deal of knowledge about (he’s in his senior year of History and Political Science)
It’s been a wild ride with so many mistakes and so many successes, many moments of laughter, worries and continuous thinking on how are we doing and how can we improve it.
Now I see him with his own thoughts, feelings and dreams; his own knowledge and plans for the future and I can’t forget the little baby that came to visit us and stayed around for so many years, bringing with him an entire new perception and way of life, to become quickly and forever a part of us in our hearts…