Our New GOD!

 

 

When you are in pain, confused, lost, or simply bored, go to God Google.

When you need to receive advice, directions, information or amusement, go to God Google.

Even if you have sexual desire to satisfy God Google will give you the information and connections you need to get the relief you seek.

Our new God Google is here to help us, protect us, guide us and even entertain us without imposing rules or commandments.

Do you remember the times before God Google?

You had to go all the way to the library for information; you had to ask around to countless people just to get a vague answer to your queries; you had to read books, newspapers and magazines to see if your specific question would be answered in one of those pages.

You had to invest so much time and effort to satisfy your needs of information or curiosity.

You had to go through so many tribulations in order to reach the desired wisdom of such information.

But no more!

God Google is here for us.

Forget all the previous gods taught by the older generations that gave you just the possibility to pray but no instant answer.

With God Google you get not only the answer to your questions in about 1.35 seconds, but you get alternatives to go thru if the first answer doesn’t satisfy you.

So don’t forget to pay your Monthly Contribution (bill) to your Chosen Church (internet provider company) so you can be connected to your God Google.

Fight for your God Google! Defend It from anything and anyone that try to destroy It.

There are countless Evil Search Engines that will try to tempt you into the wrong ways, so be on guard, become a Saint Soldier that’s willing to surrender his/her life to defend and protect our new God Google.

God Google is good and doesn’t try to be the only one for you and take your total attention making you forget about your own personality.

No matter what religion, belief or concept you have, God Google will let you connect with those personal beliefs because God Google is Mighty and Magnanimous and doesn’t need to capture and retain all your attention so to keep you under It’s only light and darkness around.

God Google knows that whatever your beliefs are now, you will recognize and accept It’s Mighty so doesn’t need to create Holly Wars to retain you.

What would it be to go back to the Dark Times before God Google?

Recognize that you’ll be lost if from this moment you loose the connection with God Google.

You wouldn’t know what to do or where to start when in need of information.

You’ll be lost in the dark, trying to remember how to live and do things in the very inefficient way it used to be.

Time has come to change the saying to: “Oh my Google!”

We live in the Information Era so the Information God is here!

Kneel in front of our new God Google!

Father Raul

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24 Responses to Our New GOD!

  1. Tony Single says:

    Raul, I couldn’t stop laughing with this. Hilarious! :P

    Oops. I shouldn’t laugh, should I. That’s blasphemy, I’m sure. Please God Google, don’t download me into Error Command Hell! :(

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Tony,

    Don’t worry, remember that God Google is Magnanimous and Forgiving :)

    Glad you had a good laugh with the post, just don’t forget to pray my son :)

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Our New GOD!

  2. Lori says:

    Hi Raul,

    This is so awesome — so awesome.

    Raul, I was just thinking the other day how long it used to take me to go to the library, copy dozens and dozens of research articles using the Xerox, and take it back to the lab to understand the research performed as a backdrop to my experiments. It used to take forever!

    But, yeah, God Google now has made that much easier, to be honest. I can use Google to find research findings I couldn’t find with PubMed or the other standard research services back in the day.

    God Google creeps me out sometimes, but I have to admit there are blessings, too.

    I love this post — you’re really shining, Raul.
    Shaka that!
    (That’s a SoCal/Hawaii term for “awesome”) ;)
    ~xo
    Lori´s last post ..Chocolate Truffles- A Fine Wine- and Melting Butter

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Lori,

    It is scary some times how much information can be found in Google. I believe the time will come and, when someone ask you “What’s wrong with you” you will be able to say “I don’t know, let me Google it”

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Our New GOD!

  3. Joy says:

    Raul,
    I’m not kidding..the other day at lunch a few colleagues were talking about a food they consider delicious..fried pigs blood…so as I was in the process of trying to absorb *that* I nonchalantly asked well is it spiced? And I kid you not, my coworker googled is fried pigs blood spiced and it brought up a recipe…LOL–just great:)
    So, yes, I bow to Google..because life is that much easier, and questions are answered that much faster than waiting for Divine…
    Joy´s last post ..Fearless Fun Friday- Use Your Influence…

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Joy,

    Fried pigs blood! uh…I’ll go with the cheese burger instead, thank you!

    But yeah, it’s amazing the kind of stuff we can find in the internet these days.

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Our New GOD!

  4. Sara Healy says:

    Raul,

    Oh, my Google…this is one of your best yet. I laughed all through this post. Not only is it funny, but it’s really true, especially for bloggers.

    The ones we should really be praising are the programmers who figured out how to create the God Google.

    I just read Joy’s comment and it’s hysterical. I can’t believe someone actually made a recipe for fried pigs blood. That’s kind of scary.

    Great post!!!
    Sara Healy´s last post ..Book Review- the lives and times of archy &amp mehitabel

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Sara,

    You are right, the ones that should be praised are the programmers, but it wouldn’t be much fun I believe :)

    The thing is, we are in need of Google now after somehow loosing our hability to research the old ways

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Our New GOD!

  5. rob white says:

    Great perspective, Raul. It certainly gives pause to reflect back to the days before Google. I still can’t figure out if Google is a good thing. I certainly ‘worship’ my fair share. Sometimes I wonder if it is mostly useless and pointless knowledge that distracts our minds.
    rob white´s last post ..Being Master of the Elements

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Rob,

    One of the biggest challenges when surfing the net for information is to find what’s good info and what’s just fluff, no doubt.

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Our New GOD!

  6. Raul,

    You are so right that Google is almighty God, our blogs, search is all depending on it. I love the way you think and write unique stuff my friend! Thank you for being unique blogger!
    Preeti @ Heart and Mind´s last post ..Lifestyle Magazine’s New Issue- Relationship

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Preeti,

    It is true that many times we as bloggers need Google to check on infortmation for our blogs, either for writing or tinkering with plugins.

    Thank you for you kind comment, I’m glad you enjoy this blog :)

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Our New GOD!

  7. Walter says:

    Ha.. ha.. I like the way you present the almighty Google here. How could be a simple search tool be so powerful, and what is internet without it. Perhaps I should agree the Google is our new god–in the cyberworld that is. :-)

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Walter,

    Fortunately just in the cyberworld! If it would become the almighty in real life then we would be in deep trouble, as a race that completely lost it’s sense of reality.

    Thanks for stopping by :)

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Our New GOD!

  8. S. Ali Myers says:

    God Google….That’s jokes! You make a valid point and Google can be replaced with some other inanimate objects. This post clearly demonstrates how humans worship and praise things that really don’t matter in the big scheme of life. Or, how humans are accessible to their “god”. I really found this post to be enlightening and quirky, at the same time. Bravo!

    Peace Peace,
    Ali
    S. Ali Myers´s last post ..No Arms- No Legs- No Worries Video

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Ali,

    I’m glad you liked the post…and thank you for stopping by and commenting :)

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Our New GOD!

  9. Steve says:

    Raul,

    Two questions:

    1. Does God Google Smote you for worshipping false Idols (Bing/yahoo)
    2. Is the “android” sent here by Google to die for our sins?

    Very funny stuff..

    the kind of stuff that is “funny because it is true”

    Steve
    Steve´s last post ..6 Tips for Dealing with Critical People

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Steve,

    Interesting questions. My take is that, just like in real life, it doesn’t really matter who you worship, and like in real life, if the “android” dies for our sins it won’t make any difference in people’s behavior. Sad but true!

    Man, you just contributed the sad approach of the concept! Still, thank you for expanding the vision on the subject :)

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..The Bird and The Shotgun

  10. Hi Raul – I’m new here, just clicked over from Eric’s site, where he listed you and me (and some others) among his favorite bloggers. What a delight to find this post. Very clever of you. I’ve heard Google actually wants us all to be connected 24/7. And of course there’s the infamous “google brain” people talk about, where we can no longer concentrate on anything longer than a few seconds or minutes before we have to be off to the next hit of information. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate having the world at my fingertips, but for a curious person it’s a bit like crack. And funny about the old days: as inefficient as they were, by comparison, we didn’t have a clue about that, did we? Just goes to show that human beings are very adaptable.
    Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last post ..Meaning Mondays- Life As Collage

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Patty,

    Perhaps one of the things that makes Google so important these days is that people is loosing the capacity of concentration due to the times we are in. No longer is needed to be on something in depth. It’ll be interesting how things evolve.

    Thank you for stopping by, I’m glad you are here :)

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Our New GOD!

  11. Raul: Pretty funny, but also very true. Google is really positioning itself to take over the world :) However, what else can we expect from a company’s whose mission is to organize all of the world’s information. I have to admit I am a HUGE Google fan. I hardly remember life before Google (1998 B.G.). In fact, perhaps we should start using B.G. as a term when referring to dates since life didn’t really begin until Google :)
    Sibyl – alternaview´s last post ..5 of the Most Important alternaviews You Need to Live Better

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Sibyl,

    You’re right, before Google it was the “Dark Times” so why not to “restart” the calendar to protect the new generations from temptations from the dark era.

    Great point! Thank you :)

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..The Bird and The Shotgun

  12. Jeffrey says:

    Hi Raul,
    Whatever happened to a good old “Hail Caeser”? Man, talk about a Google slap!

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Jeffrey,

    “Hail Google!” Hey, it doesn’t sound bad at all, maybe it could be used too.

    Thanks for stopping by and the contribution :)

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..The Bird and The Shotgun

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