Men Don’t Cry!



Visiting Wendi’s blog “Life’s Little Inspirations” and after reading several of her posts I ended up in the one called “Hand in Hand”.

Wendi has an amazing blog and the post “Hand in Hand” with the video included in it simply made me cry! Such an inspiring post and video!

After watching and spending some time thinking about it and feeling a bit tearful I started to remember the old saying: Men Don’t Cry.

How many times we heard that one while growing up?

To be honest, I cry a lot! No, I’m not a cry baby or the kind that cries when getting physically hurt (Bleeding is my middle name! Well, not really) but I do cry very easily with emotional things: When the main character of the movie dies and violins are playing; when the lovers in the movie have to split forever and violins are playing; when in the movie child and mother are reunited after being separated by tragic circumstances and violins are playing again!

Damn violins! I hate them!

But seriously, my point is that when it is something about sad and some times even happy feelings I do cry and even though I try to hide it (because we live surrounded by society) I also let it be since, in my concepts, it is what makes us human.

I am a man, and one of the points that prove it is that I can cry! I’m human.

Honestly I don’t care much about the old saying and/or the concept around that men have to be tough.

At the other hand, if a man doesn’t cry, either he is creating a bomb inside or he has no feelings…well, I have feelings and definitely don’t want to create a bomb inside waiting to explode.

Maybe it should be more about guiding boys about the meaning of crying rather than just simplifying and applying the old saying as part of their growing process.

And with it fewer women will say: “You are so insensitive!”

But at the other hand some women could say: “I want a real man, not someone that cries for everything!”

Oh well, I better quit analyzing! :)


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18 Responses to Men Don’t Cry!

  1. Raul,

    Is it OK that I like you even more now that I know you cry sometimes?

    What an awesome post!

    I grew up in a very stoic household — sure we had our fun — but crying was for babies. Crying was a thing we were not supposed to do, for both us girls and my two older brothers.

    I haven’t been home for awhile now (years), so I have no idea if my brothers cry, but I certainly do at the drop of a hat (violins or no violins! (I loved the violins comment, btw.)

    Raul, I say go for it. Society be damned, cry it out. Get it out. Let tears fall. Onward ho, brother.
    Lori (JaneBeNimble)´s last post ..RAOKA- Wisdom

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Lori,

    So the balance goes to the side in favor of the “sensitive” men, woohoo! :)

    Maybe things have changed in the last years back home and around, I don’t know, but hopefully it has or will.

    Thanks for your comment.

    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Men Don’t Cry-

  2. Tony Single says:

    Raul, first let me thank you for visiting our little blog and leaving such a lovely comment on Cassy’s latest post. I can already tell from that and this post here on men crying that we’re going to like you. :)

    I wrote a post very recently about this very subject myself. I’ve often wondered why society considers it unmanly for men to cry. Well, if that’s so then I mustn’t be much of a man because I can cry quite a bit for all kinds of reasons… sometimes even hayfever! :P

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Tony,

    Thank you for your comment and your visit :)

    It seems it’s all around the questioning about why the concept imposed by society. Maybe we should start a “Secret, Underground Movement of Crying Men” or SUMCM :)

    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Men Don’t Cry-

  3. Raul: It is amazing how much we can be at peace with life when we just accept and appreciate things about ourselves and other people. I think it is great that you appreciate your sensitive side and that you are honest and open about your feelings and emotions. You don’t often see that and I think that is a great trait.
    Sibyl-alternaview´s last post ..How To Ensure That You Get Out of Life Everything You Want

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Sibyl,

    Funny isn’t it? I just came back from your blog and found you commenting here…so that’s why the door was open but you weren’t there :)

    About appreciating my sensitivity…well…I don’t have an option there…when those violins start playing in movies…

    Thank you for stopping by and your kind comments

    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Men Don’t Cry-

  4. It’s funny how there are some things men just aren’t supposed to do. Crying is probably top of that list. Earlier today I thought of another, skipping. I had the urge to skip down the hallway at work, but I just couldn’t do it. I’ll have to save the skipping and crying to do at home.
    Eric | Eden Journal´s last post ..There’s a Turd in my Nest

    Raul Reply:

    Hi Eric,

    Skipping, you are right, that’s another one.

    Thanks for stopping by and the comment.


  5. Liara Covert says:

    To allow oneself to feel is to open to deeper self-understanding. To move beyond judgment is something else again.
    Liara Covert´s last post ..Feel the impact

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Liara,

    Yes, you are right, “Let it be and then you can be”

    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Spiraling Down

  6. Liara Covert says:

    Raul, some people develop the instinctive reponse to avoid things because this is what is socially taught. This reminds one that mind training matters. How one thinks or whether one thinks at all, determines the quality of our experience.
    Liara Covert´s last post ..Recognize the nature of intelligence

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Liara,

    Yes, many times we should go against the trend in order to allow self growth.


  7. Your Hermana says:

    A man that cries, skips, wears pink, puts on an apron while cooking, change diapers, and is not afraid to admit he is lost, or that he does not know a thing about fixing pipes or cars…Well, in my book, that is a real man! And we need more of them :)

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    While I do cry, change diapers and can admit when I’m lost, I do not wear pink, do not use an apron while cooking because I don’t know much about cooking and do know how to fix a car or pipes…does it make me half a man? :)

    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Digital Face

    Your Hermana Reply:

    Oh no!!! A man admitting to any of those items IS a real man! (A whole one!) So you are saved :)

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Yessssss! :)
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Digital Face

  8. Meredith says:

    Hi, Raul! My first time by your blog, and I ended up reading several posts. I had to comment on this one.

    I’ve been doing research into the historical period of Regency England lately and came upon a curious fact. During the Regency, a dramatic and romantic period, it was expected for everyone (in the upper classes, at least) to be emotional and have physical reactions to things, especially pathos and tragedy and melancholy sights, but also transports of transcendent joy, and crazy, wild laughter.

    And men cried publicly — a lot! In fact, some of them were somewhat famous for their capacity to show raw emotion, and they seem to have done so more spectacularly than the women of the time.

    Isn’t that great to know? It really is just a cultural overlay. There is no need to be ashamed of allowing your emotions to pass through you and respond to them genuinely. I personally think it makes you more likable. I can relate to you more! :)
    Meredith´s last post ..holy tomato

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Meredith,

    Thank you for stopping by, glad to have you here!

    Isn’t it crazy that it all depends (mostly) in the cultural period we live? What is accepted and encouraged in one is rejected in another. Maybe one of our biggest problems as a race is that we tend to follow trends at every level instead of going for what is inside and makes up a human being.

    By the way, I went to see your blog and, as I comment in my latest post “Size Does Matter” I simply couldn’t read it! My laptop is having problems (I’ll fix that this week) and your site is beautiful, but took to my laptop almost two minutes to download the almost 5 MB and then it simply froze to death! As soon as I get things fixed here I’ll pay you a visit, I promise! :)

    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Size Does Matter!

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