Time, Paths and Memories

 

 

I used to have a little sister some 30 years ago, then life presented different paths to the members of the family and just a couple of days ago I found out that my little sister has become a “Conejito Asesino”

Even though she was the daughter of my sister, being I 15 years old by the time, that baby felt more like a little sister to me than a niece; a sweet child that I spent lots of time with playing and laughing and taught me the need of living creatures for connection with one another.

 

I used to have a little daughter some 25 year ago, then after following my path in life, after a moment to stop, rest and look around, I saw in the distance that my little daughter is no longer a child but a woman and now has her own daughter.

An “oops” from mother that gave birth to a child when I was 20 years old, so the little one felt more like a daughter to me than a sister, and with those big, curious eyes taught me about the fragility of a child and the need of an adult to protect them, not only about safety, feeding and love, but also about continuous observation for proper anticipation to create the guided path they need in those first years of life.

Now is about three strangers and only one with memories from the past.

It is so easy to remember the moments, the time spent with a loved child when he or she is just a couple of years old, when the little one is just a baby and look at one with those confused eyes of a creature just arrived to life.

At the other hand, who remember the experiences, the happenings when we are between zero and 5 years old? At most we have flashes of memories, loose images that come to us after some deep digging but bring us nothing more that a grainy, confused picture of a mostly confusing time.

So we, as adults, remember the moments but the child, being less than five years old will not, and the question that arises in my mind is what happens then when divorces occur and the couple splits when the children are below that tender age? Wouldn’t they forget the parent that walks away if they don’t spend time everyday with him/her?

It is so easy for adults to change paths while preserving the memories, yet children often time forget the previous memories to create new ones…without the adult that were a part of their life once and to become just a name from the past for them.

Then for adults is difficult to comprehend why the child seems to have forgotten all the beautiful memories from the past time together and the love given to them. The adult remembers, the child forgets.

I guess there should be more consideration for that element when adult mistakes from the past are corrected.

Just a thought

Raul

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6 Responses to Time, Paths and Memories

  1. Hi Raul,

    That’s so true. Adults will remember those days when a child was little, but the child will remember little to none of those years. And even pictures will only be held dear by the adult.

    It does make a person think. If we parent a child, but become separated from them at an early age, we can’t expect the child to include us in their lives just because we were there when… That said, many children do grow up, gain a desire to reconnect, and the years that were lost become a distant memory.
    Barbara Swafford´s last post ..Who Am I To Tell You How To Blog?

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi barbara,

    yes, many children do want to reconnect and as you mention, the lost years become part of a “previous life” and a new one develop between parent and child, which is great.

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Time, Paths and Memories

  2. Some experiences of a 5 year old will be remembered vividly for life Raul. I recall every once in awhile: tipping over the handlebars on my trike and gashing my chin and being rushed off to the doctor. And with my brother, being asked on halloween night; “Haven’t you been here before?” To which I replied; “Two times.”

    These happened 70 years ago.
    Grampa Ken for social change´s last post ..Blog Writers Block Article Reposts

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Grampa Ken,

    Yes, very intense situations are easily remembered forever, the problem is with the simple things that happen in everyday life.

    I do remember the fever attacks when I was 3 years old and the hallucinations that those attacks created…later in life discovered that Pink Floyd had music that fitted my hallucinations, specially albums like “Hummagumma” and “A Nice Pair” :)

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..Time- Paths and Memories

  3. Sara says:

    Raul — There’s something about this post that feels a bit like regret. The line that stays with me is, “Now is about three strangers and only one with memories from the past.”

    Something to think about is that children also “fill in the blanks” of their memories based on what they think happened and not necessarily what did happen in their lives, especially if someone is out of their life for a period of time.

    That’s why I believe we, as adults, need to remind children of our own memories. It’s kind of like hitting “Refresh” on your browser. It’s a chance to create a present, if the past is lost:~)

    p.s. I laughed at your comment back to Grampa Ken, especially the part about your childhood hallucinations returning with the sounds of Pink Floyd:~)
    Sara´s last post ..Story Photo- Journey Train

    Raul Ojeda Reply:

    Hi Sara,

    Regret? Not really, I got very close to those two little girls because they were part of my life at that moment, but I understand the relationship we had was to be of different paths in the future; now the beautiful memories remain.

    Ah Pink Floyd! What supposed to be a bad memory from the childhood quickly became an opportunity to enjoy those hallucinations, even to these days!

    Raul
    Raul Ojeda´s last post ..My Father is an Encyclopedia

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