Posted by Raul on May 28, 2010
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It is surprising sometimes to see how many love relationships go awry after just a short couple of years. When analyzing the approach many people use when dealing in a love relationship it stops being surprising.
Strangely enough it seems to be a common occurrence that many people go in a relationship in autopilot (Automated Relationships) without applying all the effort required to “build” that relationship.
We tend to see things as they are now and expect them to remain like that while we forget we both change as time goes by. We don’t build houses, we buy them already built and ready to use; we know they will deteriorate overtime and will need repairs and improvements, but we don’t seem to think the same way about a love relationship.
A relationship might start with basic mutual attraction and coincidence of personalities and tastes, but in order to develop a strong relationship it has to be built throughout the years.
If we want a big and strong relationship we have to build it as a castle, out of rock in solid ground, and still it’ll take many years of pain, tiredness and tears, but that’s the only way to achieve the desired big results that will bring satisfaction and comfort…the place to rest from the world (A Room Without Windows).
Paying attention to the needs and wants of our loved ones; learning about them through observation and analysis and bringing them what they need (and sometimes not necessarily what they want) will help them grow and develop as human beings at the same time that we develop and grow as well, and with it, our relationship will become stronger and capable to endure the tests of life.
It takes time, tiredness and tears, and a huge amount of patience, but just like building a castle that will give us protection from almost anything that might come our way while being our refuge, our relationship has to go through that long process in order to become a strong relationship that will stand the pass of time while enduring the elements that will come our way.
If we instead decided to go the short way and just lift a tent to shelter ourselves, our relationship, being that tent, will not withstand the pass of time and be capable to endure the tests of life. Soon it’ll become rags and will need to be replaced for a new tent or relationship (The End Once Again) unless we decide this time to go the long way and build that castle out of rock.
Seems a pretty basic concept isn’t it? Yet it is so often neglected.
Taking things for granted; expecting the other person to know us from the beginning; asking to give us what we need, yet we don’t take the time to observe and analyze the other person; we don’t give what they need but instead we give what we want to give or what we consider is what they want or need.
Then start to zigzag away in pain, without understanding what went wrong to end up in physical or emotional separate ways as many marriages we can see today, where the love relationship has become more a business partnership of mutual money generation to acquire material stuff to compensate for the lack of the feelings that used to be the original reason that started that relationship.
Raul
Posted by Raul on May 21, 2010
It seems funny when you think of it in this crazy way.
A woman gets into a love relationship as a fisherman with a fishing pole: She sets the bait (beautiful clothing, make up, smiles and soft talking), then sends the bait flying to get close to the fish (approach the man with that fancy walking and irresistible smile), then moves the bait around to tease the fish (sweet kisses while hanging from the man’s neck), then do the strong pull that will hook the fish (get the signed legal document), to finally pull the string and retrieve the fish out of the water to take complete possession of it (start setting the conditions of housing, transportation and general way of life requirements).
A man gets into a love relationship as a hungry wolf on hunting night: He roams the land looking around for every possible prey (walking with confidence and a big smile while checking out body shapes), then gets close to the prey ready to attack (looking straight into the girl’s eyes while talking with the property of a successful business man), then jump over the prey to get firm hold of it (invite her to a fancy dinner for more big talking), to finally drag the prey to a secluded area to feast (motel room).
She was fishing while he was hunting. Mutual entrapment! And sometimes nine months later you get the witness.
Just kidding!
Posted by Raul on May 14, 2010
I like Goofy, he is my hero!
Might sound strange to have such character as a hero, but in my opinion, he’s the one with the most important powers to have.
As a child it is pretty much normal to have heroes like Superman and Batman, but those are fantasies that help develop imagination in children (and some adults).
As we grow up and become active parts of society the kind of “superpowers” we need are different.
It is not strange to find ourselves with the problem of having things to do and never get to finish them because of many other things that have priority.
Also is very common to have the time and, knowing what to do, we just don’t do it.
And even when we get to finally work on something that has been postponed for a long time and is finally completed we tend to dislike the end results for being different of what we expected at the beginning.
It seems a constant battle to generate and maintain some willpower to get things done and an open mind and the capability of adaptation necessary to accept different outcomes of what we planned or expected.
So enter Goofy!
Most probably you have seen several videos of Goofy and his incredible adventures, like when he tried the Olympics; or try to play Golf, Hockey, Driving, Gymnastics, Dancing, etc.
Those are funny stories and poor Goofy never seems to get things right at first and even after several attempts, he still cannot find a close result to what he intended at the beginning.
And that’s the point.
Goofy seems to always be willing to try something new, and he does it with excitement and anticipation, and when things go wrong (and they always do) he get scared and beaten but never quits and always go back with even more determination to achieve his goal.
That’s a treat not to many people have and definitely one to try to acquire in life.
The other element that I really like of Goofy is that at the end of his adventures, no matter the result, good or bad, or simply completely different of what he expected, he still find the good in it and manage a big smile and enjoy whatever he gets.
While we tend to complain that things are bad!
Definitely a little of “Goofy attitude” in our lives would go a long way to improve the way we face new challenges in life, the mindset throughout those proving times, and the way we enjoy our lives with the results we get.
Raul
Posted by Raul on May 7, 2010
Some time ago it was announced that several libraries in the Denver area will be closed due to a reduction in budget because of the actual economy.
My first thought was about the lost of knowledge opportunities for the younger generations. If libraries are closed then the preservation of knowledge would be reduced.
Then just the other day, while riding with the scooter club, and after stopping outside a library to see some sculptures, I overheard one of the younger members, a fellow in his 20’s, mention that he has never been in a library.
My first thought was that he was joking and I even laughed, but then he went on to explain that every time he needed information of any kind he just surfed the net and checked the almost unlimited list of websites that would provide the information he needed.
That situation made me realize that the times have changed so much that what I used to think about the importance of the continued existence of libraries as a way to preserve knowledge might not be any more, instead, the whole system we were used to could be transformed into something that we, the older, do not really understand.
Time changes everything and the way of life we knew is not anymore. Enter the digitalization of the printed word.
So libraries could eventually disappear together with so many other things that used to be. The whole way of life will be transformed and while we, the older, might scream in horror about the loss and the path to disaster of the young, they will just go on in their new system, leaving behind the past generation as obsolete due to their difficulties to adapt according to the times and technologies that come forward to replace the old ones.
Just a thought.
Raul
