Long time ago I read a tale about a man who knew was being tracked down to be murdered, so decided to hide in a room without windows. He waited in the center of the room seating in a chair facing the only door available, so he would be able to see the killer entering the room; he would not be taken by surprise.
The story went on to describe the man’s thoughts and feelings in that moment until, coming out of these thoughts, the man realizes that the killer was already in the room, behind him, even though the door never opened; then a chill went down the spine of the man at the moment he realized his precautions had been of no use and he was now in the same room with the killer to his back. No escape!
A room with no windows…isn’t that family?
Let me explain.
Sometimes dealing with the world, society and life itself can be very stressing; we have to be and many times we have to “pretend to be” in order to gain a place in this planet. We interact with our surroundings to push our thoughts and dreams in specific directions that might change over time due to specific circumstances; we deal with many elements that so many times are completely out of our control.
After years and decades of this constant “going out to grab a place” we change from human being to citizens of a society. We are not part of something unless we participate.
So the stress of everyday life, even if is accompanied by many great moments, becomes the jacket we wear every time we go out of home to face the world.
And the only place we can rely on to relax, to let ourselves be the fragile one, the doubtful person we are many times, someone who cannot withstand the pressure forever but just another human being with virtues and defects; the only place to let go and feel safe without any doubt and the assurance we will not be attacked so we can be ourselves is our home, our family; wife, husband, lover, even our own children.
From this point of view, our family becomes that room without windows and just a door to get in and out. When we are inside we are safe, we can let go and be ourselves, knowing the ones inside with us are those we can trust completely and without any doubt because they are our loved ones, and we are the one they love.
That would be the only place and time when we don’t need to be the strong one and we can be ourselves without pretension or image projection. The place where we go back to being human and share the joys of connection with the other, the chosen human being that became our loved one and with whom we formed a family, leaving behind the stress and worries of society participation.
That room without windows that is family, or suppose to be our family, is the starting point everyday and the resting place every night and if we don’t give it the attention and dedication it needs, by the means of giving time and heart to the ones that conform it, it’ll degrade and loose it’s meaning to the point of becoming just the place we go to sleep.
It’ll stop being “home” to become just a business partnership where two people share expenses in the attempt to reach more expensive stuff that they could get on their own and also share the expenses and burden of sustaining the little ones that come along.
So, with dedication of time and love, that room without windows that is our family becomes the safe place to be and rest and the place we can be human beings again.