Posted by Raul on December 14, 2009
I’m seating on an old bench at the park; I’m watching a rabbit do its daily errands while some birds practice their aerobatics in the cold winter air; the trees have very few leaves left and those that already fell to the ground are covered in snow from the previous storm just some days ago.
I am an irresponsible person!
A squirrel is jumping in the snow, stopping every several feet to check the ground for some hidden food. After many attempts it found something and in the typical seated position grabs its findings and feast for a couple of seconds, just to start the cycle all over again.
I am not working right now to create wealth and the higher status that comes with the acquisition of material stuff, I’m just enjoying the present, the surroundings, life!
Long, smooth clouds create a contrast against the blue sky allowing the sun give its light and warmth over the park. The air is cold, temperature in its forties and there is no breeze so it is still possible to walk around stepping on the compressed snow without feeling so cold.
Society teaches about competition of classes and the need to climb the ladder, friends ask what kind of car I’m driving lately and what new restaurant I’ve been at the past weekend, but I am here watching the surroundings for a while, feeling the air, the sun in my face, watching the rabbit, the squirrel, the birds and the trees, enjoying nature for a moment and being marveled by its beauty, simplicity and complexity at the same time.
I am not doing anything for money or social standing right now so by society standards I am an irresponsible person lost in the unproductive concept of enjoying the present, the now, even if it is just for a moment.
The past is what made us and the future is what we will be, so the present is the moment to give the direction we want our future to be, and I’m seating here as an irresponsible citizen not doing what we suppose to do, but I’m happy because right now, for a brief moment, I am not a citizen, I am a human being!
Raul
Posted by Raul on December 11, 2009
I love life!
When I was five years old I was really sick, had seizures that looked like epilepsy and had hallucinations produced by high fever. In one of those attacks I remember my mother seated in my bed holding my hand, worried. It was about two in the morning and after the seizures I felt really tired, needing some sleep, but I was afraid! I thought that if I went to sleep I’ll never wake up again; I thought I was going to die!
An adult would know that everything would be alright, but as a child I was afraid, I didn’t want to die! I remember thinking of all the things that I would loose to do and experience in life so wanted to stay awake to avoid dying that night. I was really tired, my eyes tended to close and I was fighting to keep them open, until finally lost the battle.
Next day I woke up feeling a lot better physically, no pain in my body, breathing easier and no fever. I remember the feeling of joy realizing I didn’t die the night before, knowing that I would remain alive for a longer time to enjoy so many things I thought I would loose. That was one of the happiest days in my life!
Now, while remembering I realize how silly it was, but also remember how traumatic that experience was at the age of five. Maybe that’s why I’ve always been thankful to be alive, to have the chance to experience so many things, good and bad, happy and sad, boring and scaring, that life has to offer everyday.
I won’t lie to you, many times throughout my life I’ve thought that life sucks, but also as many times I’ve remembered that day when I was five and felt thankful for just being alive, for always having another chance, another shot at getting things better in the future.
Some time ago I read somewhere that life is not about feeling safe and secured but to experience so many wonderful things that has to offer, so right before we die we can look back and say: “WHAT A RIDE!”
Raul
Posted by Raul on December 9, 2009
Charlie and I used to meet pretty often at Station 23; we had a couple of beers and tried to fix the world in our own way; nothing wrong with that, it was just our way to escape reality for a while.
It was in 1982, when I was 20 years old and had a job in what could be called “road maintenance” but in reality was a less than minimum legal wage job were I was to walk dirty roads carrying a shovel and filling pot holes with dirt from the sides. These kinds of jobs were created by the government at that time to reduce the statistics about unemployment.
Charlie; hired for simple tasks around the house of an unknown family, felt at his 27 years of age the pass of time, not because of being old but rather the insecurity of seeing years go by without getting anywhere. He always started by complaining about his employers and finished criticizing the country’s economy.
I remember him, thin, not too tall, dark skin and big brown eyes; always dressing a red, running suit, old tennis shoes and sun glasses that he used to hide behind of most of the times.
Beer was always warm, but Station 23 was the only place in that small town where you could have a place to talk in privacy surrounded by screaming kids. Beer was the only drink we had since we didn’t have much money, but still it gave us the satisfaction of feeling big!
Many times I asked myself why poor people drink their little money, and then I could understand something; I, in such low level employment felt like the smallest expression of a human being, while drinking beer I could feel like an executive talking about an important business.
Culture wasn’t a problem, talking with Charlie about politics, economy, history, science, etc. At that moment we had the power: we asked for a beer; we had the culture: we talk and give opinions about everything under the sun; we had unconditional friendship: Charlie and I; and a brilliant future ahead of us: we just needed to be discovered!
We never gain anything, never got any new conclusion to our conversations, we just got out all the frustrations of life. We used to laugh a lot making fun of everything and everyone around; their face, their clothing, or the way they walk, anything was good just to have a brief moment of relaxation. Now I understand how much insecurity we had about ourselves. How far away it seemed to have a decent life from the possibilities that our jobs used to offer.
Station 23, the only pub in that little town was our place of meeting, our reunion area, our escape from reality. Seated at a small table, surrounded by drunk, screaming kids and very loud music, Charlie and I found a place to revive the human spirit and find new forces to keep fighting for a better future. A place where together helped each other to cope with everyday problems and fight against the adversity to start feeling again as human beings instead of low cost cargo beasts.
Station 23 was the place where we met; we hated it, but never skipped a reunion, it would be impossible since at that time we almost didn’t have any other reason to live.
Raul
Posted by Raul on December 7, 2009
They are out there, they circle around the skies in their mighty flying machines, but they hide from us. They are watching us!
They have been changing us from the beginning with their own seed, watching the outcome of their experiments throughout the centuries and doing adjustments accordingly, checking us from time to time, taking some of us for a short time to see where exactly we are.
There are many paintings from the past about “Them”, many drawings on caves. They have been around since the beginning. So many pictures taken, so many films recorded; most of that can be fake, people trying to get famous or make some money, but it takes just one to be true to prove they exist.
How much is the government hiding? Do they know?
They are out there taking care of us, watching us as big brothers, waiting for us to grow enough to stop wars, to stop selfishness, to become old enough to understand finally that we are children of the cosmos, so become brothers together as we suppose to be.
Then “They” will come down and invite us to join them in the Big Reunion. Then we’ll finally get to meet them and be part of the whole, the universe.
In the meantime we have to keep growing since we are not ready yet. We are children as a race. Earth is a kindergarten and the human race behaves as its children. We need to learn the basics and stop fighting each other or feeling envy for what others have.
Several thousand years more we will be ready, grown enough, mature enough. In some several thousand years more we’ll stop wars as a way of fixing our problems and leave aside our conquering desires.
Only then they will see us as mature enough, as a developed race to the point of being worth to contact, only then they will consider inviting us to join them to be at their side, but for as long as we keep this behavior of violence, self interest and wars for personal gain they will remain aside. They will keep hiding.
If they came down now people would call the military instead of the representatives, governments would try to get their technology for weaponry knowledge and power instead of creating solutions to sicknesses and problems of hunger, to get them as allies for other’s control instead of
planetary health and balance.
They will keep hiding until we are grown enough.
We still see each other as complete strangers when clothing, language or religion is different, even if we are the same race, and when the body is different we become terrified!
We are not ready, we keep doing movies of monster aliens coming to conquer us and eat us! And we always solve those proposed situations with violence.
They will keep hiding, we are not ready yet, but some day we will, and we’ll be part of the universe, without differences between us or them, we will be one with the universe, as we suppose to be!
Posted by Raul on December 4, 2009
I used to be thin for the first 44 years of my life, and then suddenly became 1.35 times myself! I jumped from 132 to 178 lbs. What happened? Cheap food and flavor!
In the previous post How to Really Loose Weight! I told you about differences in eating customs and exercising between the US and my country in South America; if you read that post you noticed that the amount of food consumed back there is pretty small compared with here, and also the amount of exercise is bigger.
What happens is that food being so cheap here and having an automobile to my personal use I started to eat more than what I needed and exercise less than I should, so the result is becoming overweight.
With so much food available in such great variety at so small prices the instinct of survival that moves us to eat what’s available keeps kicking without the restriction of lack of money. If you add to that all the advertising about buying more you see is no wonder that it becomes the norm a high amount of food consumption, and with the facility of transportation, thus the lack of exercising, a general overweight problem occurs.
So first are the campaigns about “buy and eat more food” then is the campaigns about “buy weight loss products” and finally “buy medicines to prevent medical problems” And all starts with our instincts of survival that, when reached properly thru psychology in advertising, motivates us to “live to buy and consume” so we become overweight, and since it is the norm around, we accept it as the way it should be.
So the real program to loose weight is not about what kind of foods and in which amount, but how to control our own instinct of survival that pushes us to consume more food than we really need and motivate us to avoid physical activity every time we can.
It seems that it is more about “re-training” our brain than following a step by step program; learning to say NO to excessive food and inactivity instead of saying YES to the latest weight loss program, and it required of self control since there is no automatic control by high food and transportation costs that limit our access to them.
No need to spend money, just self control and motivation. It is all up to us!
Damn it!
Raul
