Alien Computer



After my computer decided to work slowly and do its own stuff instead of mine I had no other option but to call an expert to take a look and see what was going on.


He came with a small suitcase with mysterious tools, parts and discs, and after listening to my complains against my own machine he seated in front of the keyboard and started typing some mysterious codes and signs to communicate in a secret language with my computer.


After just a couple of seconds he opened what looked to me like a basement in the computer (I didn’t know a computer could have a basement!) and went inside a dark room that held white inscriptions that looked to me like Sanskrit. He then communicated with the spirit of the machine in this strange language to ask what the problem was and went to see different places inside the machine to check every system available.


Meanwhile I was standing behind the technician looking over his shoulder and ready to get any revival tool he might need, or at least a soda in case he got thirsty. Walking around nervous and hoping the patient would survive the procedure and recover to see another day.


The mysterious procedure continued while I kept an eye over the screen and I swear I saw an ugly rat running in a corner of the computer’s basement! I guess I haven’t cleaned my computer in a very long time.


After what seemed like an eternity, while the clock on the wall was sleeping and not moving at all, the technician proceeded to close the basement door, go back to a more familiar terrain for my (the desktop) and explain in a verbal version of the like Sanskrit language what the problem was, and all I could do was nod and say “I see” while thinking to myself “I can always call him back later to fix the computer again”


To my surprise, and after he let me seat in front of the keyboard to try things, the computer was fast again and this time it allowed me to do what I wanted to do instead of doing its own stuff, so encouraged by the results and motivated by my own ignorance about this mysterious machine, I decided to ask for some tweaking in my blog page; nothing big really, just a couple of little details that suppose to be easy to do but I just couldn’t get around on my own.


The technician then proceeded to go thru the walls of the desktop taking a strange path that required several written keys to open mysterious doors that led to new secret places in the computer, to finally reach a place where an even stranger language resides. He told me that this strange language was what makes things happen and look the way they look in the different pages of the blog, to what I answered: “I see, now I know”, and thought to myself: “like it’ll make any difference!”


He then proceeded to write in between those lines, in the same alien language, different instructions to the spirit of the machine to let him know what I wanted, and then went out of those secret places back to the desktop and the different pages to show me the results.


Amazing how things now are changed in the right way!


After the ceremony of collecting his tools, putting everything back in his small suitcase, receiving payment for his services and leaving my place, I quickly went back to the computer to play a little bit in this renewed machine. Now I can do things faster without the long waits and with the confidence that nothing should disappear before I’m finished with what I’m writing.


My only doubt now is if I should give some special treatment to the spirit of the computer to prevent him from getting mad at me and deciding again to do his own stuff instead of mine. Should I light some candles in both sides of the computer while working? I don’t know, but just in case, a pack of candles are noted in the next grocery list.






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