I love you and I want you are not the same, but both are like a savings account. It is so common to mix the meaning, we all do that. So many couples get together saying “I love you”, “I want to be with you”, “You make me feel happy”. So many couples distance from each other because things didn’t work out.
Here is what I think: Love is like a savings account, you have money there.
Every time you do something for your lover, a gesture, a sweet touch, giving a smile, deciding for what he/she prefer, dedicating time, etc, every time you put yourself “after” your loved one to his/her benefit is like if you deposit some money in that savings account. After many years that account keeps growing.
Every time you do something for yourself and not for your lover, “let’s do it my way”, forget the sweet touch, discharge your tensions on your loved one, etc, is like taking money from that savings account. After a short period of time there’ll be no money left.
The first “Every time you…” is I LOVE YOU, I want to make YOU happy and when I see YOU happy I’ll be happy. After several years there’ll be lots of love (money in that savings account) coming back to you.
The second “Every time you…” is I WANT YOU, you make ME happy. After a short period of time there’ll be no love (money in that savings account) coming back to you.
Now the problem is that many people confuse both I love and I want. They believe they are in love, when in reality they want. They get involved in a relationship because the other person makes THEM happy and not TO MAKE happy the other person.
Imagine what would happen if two people get into a relationship and both WANT instead of LOVE, soon there’ll be no money in that savings account, they both will be trying to get something from the other instead of giving, both expecting to receive from the other because the other makes THEM happy, so no one receive what they want. How common is that these days? Marriages that last three months! They definitely WANTED instead of LOVED.
Now if both LOVE and give, trying to make happy the other instead of themselves, getting their happiness when they see the other happy then they would be giving not expecting to receive so both receive more that they expected. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful relationship year after year?
Some people might ask: What if one LOVES and the other WANTS?
I believe it won’t work, but the one that WANTED would be mad and disappointed from the relationship for not getting what expected and would feel like love keeps hiding from him/her, while the one that LOVED would be sad but self assured that he/she tried his/her best.
Is it worth to LOVE instead of WANT?
I say YES! But everyone has to get their own answer for that. Some people would say “if that’s the case I prefer to WANT instead of LOVE so I don’t get hurt” but the thing is the relationships created in this case would be short lived and disappointing. I believe that would be a selfish type of person harvesting from what he/she seeds. Some others would say “I prefer to LOVE even if I could get hurt” and that is always a possibility but at least that person is playing his/her cards… a better human being in my opinion.
Some might say “But if I LOVE instead of WANT I might be abused” and yes that could happens but if they never take the risk they will never have the chance to find “true love”